Back to having a life!

Been getting back to my old regular life a bit lately.

Yesterday we ventured back into the world again. Did a driving tour of downtown Vegas (such as it is) and went to see the new Bond movie followed by dinner and wine. Hit some 2nd hand smoke going through the casino to get to the theatre and then again after dinner as we blew $20 on a slot machine on our way out (yes, the movie theatres here are located inside casinos!) and talked, and talked, and talked throughout dinner. Mostly about how disappointed we were in the Bond film.

Point is, I did lots of stuff that's moderately stressful (talking a lot, smoky air) and I seem to be doing ok. Yes, my chest feels a little "stuffy" today, but my Buteyko CP's (controlled pause) were really good this morning (30!) and I think I'll recover just fine.

Lastly I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Pilates is awesome! Went to mat class feeling like I had a small cloud of crap sitting in my chest, and came home feeling great. Chest feels clear and bonus? My butt feels sore!

Keep a Positive Attitude

Admittedly my little setback over the Thanksgiving weekend bummed me out.

But my recovery was quick. I still need to be careful, I pushed it a little last Tuesday...pilates, grocery store run, then decided to whip up a batch of granola before making dinner. That was a little much. But the rest of the week went smoothly, even got in a little low level cardio on Saturday. We also braved some second-hand smoke and got out into the world on Saturday afternoon for a few hours. I walked. I talked. And I was fine.

Talking has been my big trigger. But I talked to my son yesterday for an hour and a half and didn't have any sort of reaction. THAT's progress!

Just gotta keep sticking to the plan and recognizing my limits. I'm getting to bed early, I think that's helped, eating healthfully, doing my Buteyko exercises, taking my supplements, spacing out my activities. The result seems to be increased recovery time. I think I'm finally getting ahead of this thing!

On the downslope (again)

I'm keeping a positive attitude, I AM getting better, but I do feel worse this Monday than last Monday. Only a little worse, but I was hoping that resting over the Thanksgiving weekend would have me feeling perkier.

Because of Thanksgiving I missed my usual Thursday Pilates class, so no pilates "boost" on Thursday. We did go for a nice long walk on Friday, which made me feel better, although when we got home I had to pee so bad I took the 4 flights of stairs to our apartment instead of waiting for the elevator. My heart rate monitor was beeping at me for the last two (but I had to pee!), I maxed out at 136. I didn't feel any ill effects at the time, but I think that was more cardio-vascular stress than I could handle because that's when the backsliding started. I was waiting for water to boil the next day and decided while I was just standing there I'd do some pilates/ballet leg moves, some rond de jambe's (making the letter D on the floor, up, out and around, back to starting position) and some simple leg lifts, to the front, side and back. Doesn't sound so strenuous, huh? But the last couple of reps just felt...well, they just felt like I shouldn't have done them. Not any kind of pain in my chest or breathlessness, just a sense of overexertion.

I noticed later Saturday and Sunday that my "spot" was back. When I inhale I have this sense of cool air going over a sensitive spot about an inch to the right of center, about even with my armpit. I didn't have that "spot" in the very beginning, but started to notice it when I had my big setback back in August. I think when that happened I ruptured something in there. Nice.

Part of me is interested in knowing what, exactly, I did to myself. But it's not worth the time, aggravation, and money to find out. Whatever it was, it is healing, it's just taking it's sweet ass time. The Buteyko exercises help I think in part because it's training me to use my lungs less. Whatever the injury, reducing the load on my lungs has to help.

I just need to get back to the program. Rest. Ginger tea. Buteyko 3 times a day. Not overdoing it (hold it and take the fucking elevator next time!). Recovering from an injury takes time. I simply must be patient.

What a Beautiful Day for a Walk

It was a PERFECT Vegas fall day today. High low-mid 70's, a slight breeze and not a cloud in the sky.

We were up a little late last night chatting with the calorie-count.com crowd (hi guys!), so we didn't get a very early start on our walk. By the time we got out to our favorite park it was about noon. My lungs weren't recovered from all the talking last night, but I had a feeling that a little walk would do me good, and I was right. Mike was a little hesitant to take me walking, worried I needed to rest from last night, but I'm glad we decided to give it a try. I felt much better after our walk.

I like walking outside SO much better than cranking it out on a treadmill. The sun, the fresh air, looking at the cool red rocks in the mountains nearby, soaking in life happening around you...the exhuberance that children have when playing, watching people play with their dogs (I love other people's kids and dogs!). And Mike and I get to hold hands when we walk outside, can't do THAT in the gym!

We kept the pace nice and slow, keeping my heart rate in the mid-80's (except for one little incline which pushed it to 100) but we managed 5 laps around the park, which took about an hour and 15 minutes. Add on some stretching at the end, and it was a nice hour and a half. Even walking slow there's still a lot to think about. Especially for me since I have to pay such close attention to my breathing. Abs engaged and pulling up, breathing into the side of my lungs (pilates abs & breathing), but breathing shallowly and always through my nose (buteyko). Remembering to walk "tall", light on my feet, pushing off with my toes, lifting my foot forward with my quads (not swinging my leg into the next step) and pushing forward with the top of the hams. Lots to think about. But proper form keeps me from re-aggravating my old quad injury, helps me focus on my shallow breathing, and passes the time (since I'm no good at conversation these days!).

Food Sensitivies

Well sometimes you just can't win...

Almost two years ago my doc did a wacky food allergy test on me, muscle testing (arm goes down, it's bad, VERY scientific {cough, not}). He said no wheat or coffee, but dairy was ok (which surprised him, since most people fail the dairy arm test apparently). So I tried to give up wheat (switched to spelt for baking and things like rice pasta but giving up wheat entirely is tough!), and I gave up coffee completely (I was a 2 Starbucks Grande's a day kind of girl). I decided his arm strength test was bullshit but I was interested in the concept and decided to do a more scientific test. So I did a blood test that measures the level of anti-bodies in your blood to certain foods. http://www.optimumhealthresource.com/

Came back very different from my docs arm test (what a surprise). High on most dairy. So I got off dairy (except for butter every once in a while and mozzerella on my weekly homemade pizza). I gave up my beloved skim milk with meals, having water instead, and I switched to soymilk for those times when milk was a "necessity" like with cereal or when cooking. All the grains were in the no-reaction category. Thank god, I thought to myself, just trying to stay away from wheat on my doc's recommendation had been really, really tough. You know what's coming next, don't you?

I did another test this year. With this nasty lung condition I wanted to make sure my body wasn't spending energy dealing with food sensitivities that it should be spending on healing my lungs. This year's results? Soy (almost a max reading which is a little scary because I just don't have that much of it), Honey (again, a little scary since I hardly have any of that either), and...drumroll...Wheat (whole wheat, wheat gliadin and gluten), Spelt and Rye. Well, CRAP. No more Ezekiel bread english muffins. No substituting spelt for wheat. That means no grains. That means no pizza. Well, CRAP. No Mike's Kick Ass Multi-Grain Toast and eggs for Sunday breakfast. Well, CRAP.

Good news? If you stay away from trigger foods your body "forgets" it doesn't like them and you can re-introduce them later. They recommend complete avoidance for a few months, then once reintroduced they recommend having it only once every 4 days to avoid developing a sensitivity to it again. I know avoidance works because this year's test showed no reaction to dairy, although now I'm of the mind that cow milk should be for baby cows, not people. Not doing complete withdrawal until after Thanksgiving weekend. Should be interesting!

Good News and Not So Good News

So the good news is that I'm continuing to feel SOOOO much better thanks to the Buteyko breathing exercises.

A weight has been lifted off my chest in the last few weeks, literally and figuratively. Man, being sick is exhausting! And a definite blow to my super-woman-ego. I really thought I was invincible with all these years of healthy living under my belt.

The Not So Good News is that Reactive Airways Dysfunction Syndrome isn't an illness, it's an injury, and it's healing like one. I continue to get sucked into the "illness recovery" mentality. Oh, I'm feeling better, let's go. But life continues to remind me that no, no, no, this is an injury.

Tried to go for a walk on Saturday. Last Saturday's walk was great, but between then and now fall fell. It was only in the mid 50's and cloudy. Previously that would have been my favorite kind of day, perfect for walking. But once I stepped outside my lungs started to shut down. I thought they would relax and get into the groove once we got moving. Wrong-o! For the first time I got to experience what they talk about in my Buteyko method book, forcing yourself to breathe shallower when you want to breathe deeper, in order to stop an "attack". Try doing THAT sometime. Feeling not you're not getting enough air, and breathe less. Our walk lasted about 10 minutes. Clearly I'm not ready for cold air yet! Drat!

Good news is that by Sunday I was recovered. So my recovery time is much improved, which is great news. Since I didn't get in a walk on Saturday I walked a bit with Mike in the gym this morning. Haven't done that in forever. g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y upped the speed until I was walking at 3 mph, which had my heart rate at about 90. I used to not consider myself warmed up unless I was in the 120's...now I'm working out in the 90's...and feeling like I accomplished something! Wow, perspective is an interesting thing...

Buteyko Primer

So I've been dealing with this lung thing since July. I know what aggravates it...bad air quality, elevated heart rate, stress. But haven't found much that helps it (except rest...not to be undervalued, rest, it's been very useful). Until now.

I've discovered the Buteyko Breathing Method.

While searching for nutrition advice for asthmatics on Patrick Holford's site, I came across the book Asthma-Free Naturally by Patrick McKeown. I ordered the book through Amazon and they offered a discount if I ordered it along with Close Your Mouth: Buteyko Clinic Handbook for Perfect Health, also by Patrick McKeown, so I got both.

These two books are very similar, "Close Your Mouth" is just a more concise version of Asthma-Free, with a better quality cover. If you want to just learn the exercises, get "Close Your Mouth". If you want more information on the method, how it was developed, a fuller explanation of the exercises, get "Asthma-Free Naturally". Either book will take a while to get to you because it's not very popular (yet) here in the US (big in the UK however). Worth the wait (at least for me!).

Here's a quick synopsis...theory: asthmatics (and other people with lung issues like me) have too little carbon dioxide in their lungs. The tightness is their lungs makes them feel the need to try to breathe deeply, "overbreathing", which ironically only further depletes their CO2. The aim of the Buteyko method is to teach you to breathe less. Always, always through your nose (filters out impurities, humidifies air going in, keeps humidity from going out, limits the volume of air going in or going out). I'm not on any medication, (I don't have asthma and my condition isn't responsive to asthma meds, so I never got started down that path) but apparently if you're asthmatic and on meds, you can reduce or eliminate your medication by following the Buteyko techniques and diligently doing the exercises.

Info on the underlying theory of why the exercises work can be found here (you won't find much on the actual exercises online, practioners charge about $400 for a series of lessons, videos go for ~$100, they don't want to be giving that info away!). But here's a little more on the exercises and here too. Beware! If you have serious health problems, it clearly states in the 'Asthma-Free' NOT go just start doing these exercises!

After more than 4 months of dealing with my RADS I was able to go for a long walk yesterday, with no setback today, and have had moments the last few days where I felt NORMAL. Normal! No tightness in my chest! I've been diligent about doing the exercises at least twice a day, usually 3 times, and I will continue to be until my control pause is routinely at least 40 seconds (which seems like an eternity to me now!). I'll keep you posted.

Buteyko and Walking

For the first time since we sold our house in the 'burbs (February) Mike and I went for a long walk. It used to be a twice a week habit that we really enjoyed but we were enjoying the gym here at the condo complex and then I came down with this weird lung condition.

It was my first cardio of any sort since the end of August, my big setback. I practiced my new Buteyko breathing method the whole time (shallow, shallow, shallow), and we walked NICE and SLOW the whole hour, but I managed to be moving for a whole hour. The weather was just incredible (October in Vegas is absolutely beautiful, sun, mid 70's, slight breeze) and it was great to get outside. Been cooped up in this apartment too damn long! After our walk we had a nice drive around town, talking (a stressor for me), even touring a couple of new home models with plenty of stairs.

I've been religiously practicing my Buteyko breathing method and have almost doubled my controlled pause (how long you can comfortably hold your breath after exhaling). Even better though, I got through yesterday without a setback! An hour of walking, an hour of walking through houses, talking the whole time, and I feel ok today. NO setback!! Yeah!!! We're going to try to add a Saturday walk to the weekly routine. I finally feel like I'm really on the road to recovery...finally...and it seems to be thanks to the Buteyko exercises!

p.s. Go Bears!

Intruiging...

Been trying to take it easy this past week. Cancelled Pilates last Thursday and yesterday. Cancelled my pampering day last Friday of facial and manicure/pedicure because talking is such a struggle and my girls and I love to chat. Couldn't see going and not talking, that's half the fun!

Despite resting for the past week I must say I don't feel that much better. I'm trying hard not to get depressed about my little setback, keep my head in a good place so I don't stress out and make myself feel even worse. I've definitely learned that stressing about it makes it worse. So trying to RELAX. Going to my private pilates lesson today, so hopefully that'll stimulate some healing. So that's the current state of affairs.

Here's what's got me intrigued...a new book I ordered called "Asthma-Free Naturally" by Patrick McKeown, on the Buteyko Breathing Method. The theory of the book is that asthma is caused by inadequate levels of carbon dioxide. I've been having trouble talking for the last couple of months and it clearly explained why talking is an stressor, it depletes your carbon dioxide! A light bulb moment. You'd think that an asthma breathing method would involve DEEPER breathing, wouldn't you? Wrong! The Buteyko method is to train yourself to breath LESS. Less breathing increases your levels of carbon dioxide. The more carbon dioxide you have in your body the longer you can hold your breath. According to the book, after exhaling easily (don't expel all the air in your lungs, just naturally breath out) you should be able to hold your breath for 40 seconds (if you're healthy and asthma free). Mind you, that's not 40 seconds and then gasping for air, that's 40 seconds until your first "hunger for air". After that 40 seconds you aren't gasping for air, but only need a breath like the one you took before you held your breath. I can go 15. After doing the breathing exercises in the book I can go 20. The book makes a pretty compelling case I must say.

I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I'm going to do the exercises as prescribed...20-30 minutes 3 times a day. I'm keeping track of my controlled pause (how long you can comfortably hold your breath) in a spreadsheet, so I'll be tracking my progress. Should be interesting!

Mental Control

So a week ago or so I ventured out into my old life. A night on the town with friends. Dinner, a little conversation, and a show. Didn't seem very stressful at the time, but the week before had been pretty full, 3 pilates sessions, some grocery shopping involving heavy lifting, and the night out was the icing on the stressful cake. The next day it was quite clear I'd done too much too soon.

How depressing. And the more depressed I got about my backslide, the worse I felt. By last Wednesday I was back doing nothing but sinking into the couch. Trying not to talk. Not making dinner. Not lifting anything.

Friday I snapped. Or rather my husband snapped and he finally got through to me. Physically I'm going to feel however I'm feeling. But I don't need to make it worse by stressing out. And to be sure, stress makes me feel worse. When I drink wine I'm able to talk better, my chest loosens up. The alcohol isn't doing anything but relaxing me.

So I've been trying to pay attention. When I feel my chest tighten up I take a deep breath and concentrate on letting the tension go. Ahhhh. When I feel my throat start to close from talking too much, I engage my brain and tell myself there is NO reason why it should be that stressful, another deep breath, and my talking is easier, my chest hurts less.

Reactive Airway Dysfunction Syndrome is just that, a dysfunction. The initial irritant to my respiratory system, the forest fire smoke, hasn't been here since July. But my system is stuck in hyper-reactive mode, that's the dysfunction. I need to get my head in the game and realize that while I need to respect the physical limitations imposed by the condition, I can mitigate it with my brain. I can relax. I can impose my will...a little. It's not all in my head, there's definitely a physical reality that needs to be respected, I can't just do what I want, but I don't need to make it WORSE by stressing out over it.

Slowin' It Down

Overdid it a bit last week. Did Pilates 3 times last week, one reformer class, one private where we worked on the reformer and the chair (which is great, but hard!), and one mat class. Only made one grocery run, but it had lots of heavy stuff, a case of water and a case of synergy (flavored kombucha tea). I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I was feeling worse by Friday than I did on Monday.

My husband's oldest friend was in town this weekend. We took him and his wife to dinner and they took us to see "Love" the new Cirque du Soleil/Beatles show at the Mirage. I talked too much during dinner, which is one of my triggers for my lung condition, mostly about why I couldn't talk too much. I was trying not to, but seriously, how do you get through a whole dinner not talking? The show was magical. Both Mike and I loved it (and he's a pretty tough audience!) and while neither of us were big Beatles fans walking in, we were much bigger Beatles fans walking out. The show wasn't a typical Cirque show, less acrobatics, more dancing, but it was very creative, just plain fun and the sound was absolutely incredible. The music is really the Beatles singing, from original Abbey Road tapes, so you get the real deal, and the theatre has speakers in every seat, so you're surrounded by music. I've had Beatles music running through my head for days now.

Felt GREAT to get out. We haven't been out in 2 months. So it was great fun to get all dolled up, be out on the town with Mike. But I paid the price on Saturday. Chest tightness? back. I canNOT afford a setback, so I rested all weekend. Mike made dinner and waited on me all weekend. Cancelled on my pilates teacher's baby shower on Sunday, cancelled my pilates class today. Resting, resting, resting. I am feeling much better today, my recovery rate is definitely improving. Still...was great to get out!

Stress is a Killer

Discovered something interesting over the weekend.

I've been feeling much better. Good enough to attempt a little video gaming over the weekend. How stressful could killing goblins be? Too stressful as it turns out.

I felt my chest tighten after only a few minutes. Naw...that's not possible. Maybe my heart rate is higher than I think. I put on my heart rate monitor. My resting heart rate is in the 50's. Gaming it was still under 60. Yet my chest tightened right up. I didn't take my blood pressure, but certainly it was a bit elevated. But how much could killing goblins sitting on my couch elevate it?

Enough.

Stress is definitely a factor. There's no question about that in my mind.

After all these years of being basically uptight and focusing on the negative could life be dealing me the ultimate lesson in relaxation and positive thinking?

Relax and be happy or get sick. Those are my choices it seems.

Happy Friday!

Been a big week for me. Finally feel I've turned a corner with my health. Whew! Literally!

And I managed three Pilates workouts this week. Even did a little actual work this week. Boy, I would have been in BIG trouble these past 6 weeks if I'd had to worry about keeping a real job.

Had to tweak my program a bit and run around to our stores and install the update. Prior to this weird lung issue that would have been no big deal, but now it feels like quite an accomplishment that I managed 3 workouts AND lots of running around.

Now's the dangerous time...I FEEL pretty good, but that's only been for the last couple of days so I know I'm not magically all better. This roller coaster with my lungs has been going on since July. I've felt good before but then I'll re-aggravate it doing something that didn't seem like much effort at the time. And each backslide gets a little worse. The last one was a real bitch, so I really need to watch that I don't re-aggravate it again now that I'm finally feeling better. Gotta stick to the program. Pilates only for workouts. Stick with my supplement program. And most of all I need to keep taking it EASY.

Happy Monday!

I can't help it, I just feel like smiling.

I'm feeling the best I have since my setback 5 weeks ago. Still need to take it easy, I've learned that lesson before, just because I FEEL better doesn't mean I AM better, but I can't help but be optimistic! I've got a pretty normal week scheduled.

Adding another Pilates workout to my routine. Have a reformer class today, private lesson tomorrow, and a mat class on Thursday. That's three, count them THREE workouts!

Steroids

Someone asked me recently if I'd considered a course of Prednisone (a steroid) and/or inhalers to kick start the healing process.

There is no question that steroids are incredibly powerful drugs that do have their uses. When someone is having a severe asthma attack, steroids can literally save their life. A couple of people have told me that a course of steroids helped them with their RADS. I'm glad for them that they found relief from their symptoms. And I understand the temptation of aggressive treatment in order to get well, especially when natural treatments don't seem to be working. Each of us has to weigh the pros and cons of our treatment options and decide for ourselves which is best. Steroids aren't right or wrong, good or bad, they are simply a tool. But for me, in my current condition, it's not a tool I'm considering using.

Why not? My short answer is because I'm getting better without them.

I'm miles ahead of where I was 5 weeks ago when I had my last major setback. It's true that for two weeks I couldn't do much of anything. There were a couple of days there that were pretty damn scary. But last week I was able to do Pilates twice (my butt is still sore from Thursday's class! what a great feeling!), run errands, make dinner, even had dinner out, complete with conversation, a couple of times. My current regimen of an anti-inflammatory diet, vitamins, fish oil, garlic, probiotics, pilates and daily meditation is resulting in significant progress. Instantaneous? No. More work than taking a pill or toking on an inhaler? Perhaps, though I personally don't find it burdensome. And it's working. And it's working without any side effects. In contrast, check out the list of potential side effects of Prednisone.

My long answer is more philosophical. Steroids are incredibly powerful drugs. Immunosupressive drugs. That's how steroids work, you know, they suppress your body's natural immune response. My personal philosophy is that I'm better off strengthening my immune system, not weakening it. If my lungs are inflamed, then I figure it's part of the healing response. Your body's healing mechanism is incredibly smart. Yes, sometimes your body needs help, but if it's making progress I say provide some natural assistance and get the hell out of the way.

My slower, steadier, more natural healing path might take me any longer to get well than aggressive treatment. But then again, it might not. I can't find any research online that indicates aggressive treatment results in faster healing. And even if someone could prove to me that with steroids it'll take 6 months and my way will take 8 or 9, I'd still take the more natural path with its lower risk of side effects.

Lastly, just a couple of links:

Here's what Dr. Andrew Weil posted about steroids with regard to asthma (the emphasis is mine):

Oral steroids (prednisone is the commonest) are very dangerous for asthmatics, because it is too easy to become addicted to them, and toxicity from long-term steroid use is devastating. Try to avoid ever going on oral steroids. If you do have to take them, get off as soon as possible. In general, the less medication you can take, the better. Allopathic drugs, being suppressive in nature, tend to perpetuate asthma and may reduce the chance that it will disappear on its own.

And a reading list for you asthmatics out there:

Reversing Asthma by Richard Firshein, D.O.
Asthma-Free Naturally by Patrick McKeown

Get your Head in the Game!

So, I'm slowly getting better from this lung irritation/inflammation issue. And getting a real lesson in how much our heads effects our bodies.

My latest thing is how much it stresses my lungs to talk. Talk too much, I can't talk at all. I'm ok until I'm not, if you know what I mean. At times this week I've been communicating with my loving husband via whispering. But tonight we went out for dinner at the Four Seasons. What happened? Get some wine in me, some good food, a lovely setting, my voice is fine. wtf?

Certainly alcohol has a relaxing physiological effect, and relaxation is always good. But how much is physiological and how much is psychological? Interesting question. Usually I'm not living such a dramatic example of the benefits of getting my head in the right place.

Mike promised a couple of nights at the Four Seasons when I'm feeling better. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is!

Whispers

Apparently I've overdone it yet again. Last week didn't seem very taxing, a couple of Pilates lessons, some grocery shopping and a massage on Friday. But it's apparently too much. Or the air was worse on Friday than I'd thought. Or I've been talking more than I realize.

But it's back. The heaviness. The feeling that something is sitting on me. The ache in that one little spot on the right side. The inability to muster up the air to talk very loudly or for very long.

Fuck.

I WILL persevere. I will keep doing the right things, taking it easy, taking my supplements, doing my breathing/meditation at least once a day.

Patience.

Hmmm

Didn't wake up feeling as good as I'd hoped. Perhaps yesterday was more taxing than I expected. Gee, now there's a typical theme!

Resting today. Getting a massage and hope to hang out in the steam room.

Had intended to try going for a walk tomorrow morning. Don't see that happening!

Overdoing it and losing perspective

For anyone paying attention I'd thought I'd post a quick health update and a comment about how we can get really caught up paying attention to the wrong things and lose our perspective.

I had a severe setback with my lung condition about 3 1/2 weeks ago that knocked me totally on my ass. Since then I've been diligent about my supplements, taking it easy, have added daily meditation and deep breathing to my routine, and slowly, very slowly, but surely I'm getting better. I went to Pilates twice last week and twice this week. It just makes me feel better, mentally and physically. Talking, cold air, and exertion all stress my lungs, but while I'm worn out and my chest is tight by the time I go to bed at night, I'm waking up each day feeling a little better. Trying to take it one day at a time and keep an optimistic attitude about my recovery.

Looking back on those months of killer workouts and calorie restrictions to drop 5 pounds seems really fucking stupid. Highly functioning immune system much more important! I was just too impatient. I wanted those pounds gone NOW. So now it's 4 months later, once I stopped killing myself 3 of the 5 pounds came right off and have stayed off, like it would have if I'd just been patient and kept to my old healthy routine. Sure, it would be great to hit my "fighting weight" which is all of 2 1/2 pounds below where I'm at now, but I look great where I am, and I'm at my average weight for the past, oh, 15 years or so. But because I pushed myself so hard to speed up the process a little now I've got a whole other set of much more serious issues that may now plague me forever. Lesson learned.

So anyone who's feeling like they're pushing themselves too hard at the gym, being too obsessive about their calorie intake, try to learn from my experience. Regular, but not killer, exercise and healthy choices will get you there. Extremes are NOT required to get where you're going. Taking it slower may not get you there as quickly, but you can only push yourself so far. And when your body has had enough it isn't necessarily a "hey, maybe I should slow down" moment, it could be an "oh, fuck, I really overdid it" moment. And the road back is a bitch, let me tell you.

Recovery Rate

Went to bed last night feeling bummed. It takes so little, it seems, to set me back. Yesterday was just not that taxing. {sigh} I just want to be healthy. And then I wake up this morning feeling great. Almost normal, even. So my recovery rate is at least improving. And that's a reason to be optimistic.

Pilates was great again today. I was a little afraid my heart rate was getting up there too high, but I topped out at 110. It's so great that I can get a workout in and not stress this thing too much. What would I do right now without Pilates?? I don't even want to think about that.

Went grocery shopping after class and met Mike there for lunch. Getting his call saying "hi sweetie, what're you doin? can we meet for lunch" just made me smile. We had a really nice lunch, sat outside (the weather is finally getting nice) and had the chance to just sit and talk. By the time I was heading home my lungs had decided to tighten up. Was it Pilates? Shopping? Talking? Just too much in general? Shit.

But no, no, no, I'm optimistic. My recovery time is definitely improving. I felt worse than this yesterday and woke up feeling great today, so...reasons to be optimistic.

Pilates and Mental Health

I'm sure Pilates is good for my body, it's the only exercise I'm getting these days, but more than that it's good for my head.

Feeling like an invalid sucks. Getting through a Pilates lesson without aggravating this lung condition makes me feel like I CAN overcome this thing. And Pilates isn't some pussy workout either! Nina kicked my ass a little today. Felt great.

That said, I do have a bit of tightness in my chest. Taking it easy tomorrow. Will be going down into the valley to run some errands. Hope the air quality will cooperate!

Healing isn't a straight line

Recovering from last Friday's outing into the blowing sand but not as much as I would like. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst) I'd say today is a 3.5, maybe 4. The general heaviness is waning, and I'm left with a spot on the right side that aches and the occasional urge to cough (which I fight, never produces anything so I figure it's just irritating whatever's going on in there).

Healing is just not this gradual and steady increase, it goes in spurts. I know this. So I've got to get a grip on my emotions when it happens that way. Stress doesn't help anything. I'm eager to feel normal again, but stressing over that not happening isn't useful.

I discovered over the weekend that deep breathing helps. I put on my new meditation CD, Theta Meditation System by Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, and forced myself to get past the fear of taking a deep breath. I didn't even realize that fear was there. When I started to pay attention to my breath I realized I was breathing shallowly, into my chest. When I tried to take a deep breath I hesitated. Fear. I pushed past it and found that when I try to breath into my back it feels the best (pilates breathing). Deep abdominal breathing didn't hurt really, but doesn't feel as good as trying to pull it into my back or into the side of my ribs. After half an hour of focusing on relaxing and using more of my lungs my discomfort level went from a 7 to a 4. That's pretty remarkable.

Today is Pilates lesson day, which always makes me feel better and perks up my mood. Thank god for Pilates!

What's today?

How do you feel today honey? On a scale of 1 to 10?

Today is a 6, maybe a 7.

But that's a hard question. How do I know that today's 6 is the same as tomorrow's 6?

Today I feel like someone is sitting on me. Not a large someone. Dog weight. Small to medium sized dog. Does that help?

Felt fine yesterday morning, then went out for a day of pampering. Should have come home feeling rested and relaxed. Instead the wind was blowing like crazy, giving flight to the desert sand. The temperature was beautiful yesterday (finally) so we opened the windows for just a few minutes. Almost instantly we had a layer of grit over everything that was next to the window. Ah, life in Vegas. So walking into the day spa was a bit like being lightly sandblasted. Then I had to talk to my pamperers, Christina and Corene. These women are my friends not just my providers, I couldn't simply ignore them. So we talked. Not a lot, but we did. Between the air quality and the stress of talking today I'm feeling markedly worse than yesterday. By the weight of a small to medium sized dog.

Two steps forward, one step back...{sigh}

On the road to recovery

There were moments after Pilates on Tuesday that I actually felt normal! Felt better after that workout than I have since before aggravating this thing the last time.

Talked to my Mom for about half an hour on Wednesday afternoon. I knew that talking was a stressor, but I didn't realize how much of one. Didn't have much left after that. Still lingering limitations today with my voice.

Pilates was great again today. Forgot my heart rate monitor, so no idea how high my heart rate got, but I worked up a nice sweat and my quads are feelin' it. And no setback.

Pilates will be my savior.

I Love Pilates!

Because of this stupid lung condition I've been sedentary for the last two weeks. Haven't worked out AT ALL. Woke up feeling good this morning, my chest tightness is almost gone, my energy's back and I was very anxious to have my first Pilates lesson after my major setback. Chomping at the bit even.

Since this thing started back in July, Pilates is the ONLY thing that makes me feel better instead of stressed. Today was no exception. The lovely Nina took it a little easy on me since I hadn't done anything in two weeks, but it was still work. As with every lesson I've had, we did cool and unusual things we've never done before. God, I love the incredible variety Pilates offers! "The hundred" got my heart rate up to 117, but other than that my pulse hovered around 80 the whole workout, despite doing an hour of non-stop resistance training and working up a sweat. {sigh} I was SUCH a weight lifting snob. But Pilates has shown me you can get an intense resistance training workout without lifting a lot of weight and thankfully, without spiking your heart rate. Honestly, if I hadn't discovered Pilates I wouldn't be able to work out at all right now.

I felt better after Pilates than I did even before the last time I aggravated my lungs two weeks ago. Maybe it was just finally being active, but it felt awesome! Even burned 124 calories according to my heart rate monitor. That might not sound like a lot to YOU, but after two weeks of not being able to work out, that sounds like a lot to ME!

Then it was on to Whole Foods. First a nice little lunch from the salad bar. Gotta eat lots of green stuff when you're healing. Read a Pilates magazine (am I hooked? yes, I am!), munched on loads of veggies, enjoyed my Grape Synergy (probiotics, yeah!) and just chilled for a good 45 minutes. Then got through grocery shopping, including lifting a box of 12 liters of water up to the cart, with no problem. I felt so good when I got home Mike had to practically put me in a straight jacket to keep me from overdoing it! But Dr. Mike is on the case, ordered me to go soak in the tub and unwind while he makes me dinner (have I got it made or what??)

Feeling Better

Started feeling SO much better on Friday.

Today I feel like I just have a bit of a chest cold. I know better, and I'm not going to go back to being too active, I'm going to continue to take it easy-peasy for the next few months, but what a relief to feel almost normal less than 2 weeks after simply sitting upright wore me out!

Did tighten up a little when I was trying to meditate. Maybe too much deep breathing? Don't know why deep breathing would make me feel worse, but it seems to. Hmmm...

Asthma RADS treatment

Went on Whole Health M.D. and Patrick Holford's site last night and looked up recommendations for asthma.

Even though that's not what I have, it's certainly similar enough that the same natural remedies should help. Basically anti-inflammatory stuff and anti-oxidants. So today I picked up some Borage Oil (anti-inflammatory), quercetin (found in apples...anti-oxidant), N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine (an amino acid), some fresh ginger and some ginger tea. That's in addition to what I'm already taking...cod liver oil, MSM, vitamin C, good multi-vitamin. Also went anti-inflammatory shopping in the produce section...couple different kinds of apples, onions, garlic, carrots, red peppers, red grapes, spinach, romaine.

Since I'm tired of not being able to give Mike a straight answer to "do you feel better today, honey?" I ordered a Peak Flow Meter from Amazon so I can monitor my airflow (and hopefully watch myself get better). I also got a book on nutrition for asthma. Probably all the same stuff I just read of Whole Health and Patrick's site, but more convenient than always having to go online. And I ordered a book on the Buteyko breathing method called "Asthma-Free Naturally" from Amazon (looks like it's coming from overseas, delivery is a few weeks darn it). Doing Pilates is the only thing that makes me feel better and I think some of it is the slow controlled breathing, so it made sense to try the Buteyko method is, as it sounds very helpful to asthmatics.

What else? Oh! How could I forget? I ordered another food intolerance test from Optimum Health Resource Laboratories. I did it last year and it was very informative. Got me off dairy (for which I tested highly allergic). We'll see what I'm allergic to now. I'd love to test negative for dairy now that I've abstained for almost a year and be able to get a little yogurt into my diet once in a while. According to Patrick Holford asthma and most allergic reactions is a threshold thing. Your body can handle so many irritants, and then there's just too many and it has a reaction. That just makes sense to me. I think had I not run down my immune system with 3 months of killer workouts I wouldn't have had such a severe reaction to the forest fire smoke. It's not so much that you're allergic to the one thing that set you off, it's that your immune system got overloaded and that was the one thing that put you over the top. So the more you can lessen your overall burden the better. My condition now has nothing to do with food intolerances, but if I'm burdening my system with food that stressing it out, then it's just using up healing energy that could be going toward healing my lungs. Takes 4-6 weeks to get results, which sucks, but the results should be interesting.

That's it! Reactive Airways Dysfunction Syndrome

Dr. Mike has found the answer to what's been going on with my lungs since July 5th.

A recap for anyone not following along: I had what I thought was an asthma attack for the first time on July 5th while I was working out. The air quality that day was horrible, as forest fire smoke had settled over the Las Vegas Valley. The forest fire smoke cleared up several days later, but I didn't. Ever since then when my heart rate gets too high, or I'm exposed to bad air quality like second hand smoke, it kicks right back up, and in between 'episodes' the chest tightness continues. No body aches or other signs of a virus or infection, just a feeling like someone's sitting on my chest and occasionally an unproductive cough. A trip to the doctor's office and a battery of tests found nothing. I tested negative for asthma. Chest xray and blood work came back negative for allergies or any signs of infection. With rest I get better and then I'll overdo it, or walk into a smoky environment and it starts all over again, and it's been getting progressively worse with each re-irritation.

I just wanted to know what the hell was going on! I couldn't help but start thinking terrible thoughts...was it my heart? was there something seriously wrong with me? lung cancer? COPD from smoking 20 years ago? What??! It all just didn't make sense. Clearly the whole thing started with the forest fire smoke. But the air quality here had cleared up, why was I still having breathing problems? All my internet research made it sound like exercise induced asthma, but I failed the asthma test and my doctor said that didn't explain why the irritation continued when I wasn't working out. She was puzzled. I was scared. My unshakable husband, Mike, was firm in his belief that it was nothing to worry about, whatever it was it would resolve itself, I just had to take it easy, I was a healthy girl and my body knows how to heal itself, I just needed to support it with good nutrition and *relax*. My intuition told me he was right, but god it's scary when you can't breathe and you don't know WHY.

This morning he sent me a link to a respiratory disorder forum. In it a nurse describes how lung and bronchial irritation can continue even after the original irritant is no longer present. The irritation can linger for weeks, even months, and will eventually resolve itself. It's called reactive airway disease. I had a phrase. Time to Google! Here's the most succinct definition I found:

"reactive airways dysfunction syndrome" (RADS) denotes the development of a
persistent asthma-like condition with airway hyper-responsiveness developing in a previously healthy asymptomatic individual within 24 hours of a single exposure to concentrated respiratory irritants.

Yes! That's me! Thank you Michael! I'd given up finding answers, I just kept finding scary things that didn't fit my symptoms, but he persisted until he found it. Everything I've read on it fits me to a T. What a relief, I can't tell you.

So good. A diagnosis. Now what? Well, my google search returned lots of sites that don't differentiate between RADS and asthma, including treatment, which means steroid inhalants, although a single dose won't help, you have to use it every day for up to a month before seeing results. Yeah right. But RADS is different and while some research says steroids speed healing, some says it doesn't and all agree the condition resolves itself sooner or later. And if you know me at all, you know I'm not about to inhale steroids, even if they would speed the healing process.

My plan is to continue what I've been doing this past week. Good nutrition. Good supplements. Rest. Clean air. Mike says he'll work up a plan for me to get back to working out. Might end up being pilates in our condo where I have total control over air quality and temperature (cold kicks it up too), but I'll take anything that has me getting my ass off this couch!

Dr. Mike's Healing Regimen

Man, I really picked the scab, so the speak, with this lung thing. The slightest exertion is stressful. Sometimes just sitting up feels like it's too much. Doesn't help that I don't know what the fuck this is and I'm just plain scared. If I don't feel better in a couple of days I'm heading back to the doctor's (wow, I must be feeling bad!).

So toward that end here's Dr. Mike's healing regimen (with one thing thrown in by me). Designed for me and my current lung injury/irritation/whatever-the-hell-this-is, but also good for whenever you're "feelin' punky" as my dear Dad used to say. No, Dr. Mike isn't really a doctor, doesn't even play one on TV, but he's the smartest person I've ever met (by miles), very into the natural ways to help your body heal itself, and he loves me so he's always lookin' out for me.

• Bed Rest. Couch rest really. No exertion. Period.
• Clean, humidified air. HEPA air filter big enough for the whole place, a room humidifier in the bedroom, and a steam vaporizer (remember those, from when you were a kid?) next to me most of the time.
• Early to bed. Nothing helps you heal more than a good night's sleep.
• Garlic. Two cloves a day. Raw. Cut it up and take it like a pill or put it in your salad dressing, guacamole, whatever you can hide it in. But it should be raw.
• Anti-inflammatory diet.

NO:

• processed foods (easy one, don't eat them anyway)
• red meat (also easy, usually only eat on vacation)
• sugar (not much of that around here either)
• empty white carbs (breads, pastas. again, not usually in my house)
• partially hydrogenated oils (never, ever)

LOTS OF:

• brightly colored whole fruits. Berries especially.
• apples. contains quercetin, a strong anti-inflammatory
• green and brightly colored veggies.
• Omega 3's. Flax seeds, sunflower seeds, walnuts.
• Fish. That omega 3 thing again.
• Protein (non-red meat sources). poultry, soy, nuts, seeds, legumes. good thing I have lots of chicken chili in the freezer!
• Oatmeal
• Water
• Meditation (my addition).

I downloaded "Healing Meditation" by Kelly Howell on iTunes. I loaded it into my iPod so I can listen to it anywhere. There are two tracks. One is a 30-min guided healing meditation. The other is a 30 min. track called "Music and Delta Brain Wave Therapy", which is soft background music and ambient noises, allegedly helping my brain unplug. Hey, whatever, it's working for me. I've never been one to sit still long enough to meditate. But this CD zones me out. Lots of positive focus your body healing itself. I love it. I'm doing the 30 min healing meditation during the day and doing the 30 min ambient music one at night.

So far so good. Laying around on the couch, playing some Sims2, watching Project Runway and some relatively bad movies on HBO thanks to Tivo. Eating some of my favorite foods (oatmeal and berries with some flax for breakfast, yum), snacking on lots of fruit and veggies. Getting a good night's sleep. A little meditation. Ahhhh.

But wait. This afternoon Mike walks in from his trip to Whole Foods with...wait for it...a bottle of Carlson's Cod Liver Oil. Yes, Cod Liver Oil. And I'm going to have to take it. It's SO good for you. Omega 3's up the ass. Vitamin A. Vitamin D. Dr. Mercola says 1 tsp per 50 pounds of body weight every day. So that means a little over a tsp with breakfast or lunch, and another tsp or so with dinner. I can do this...right? I'm managing two cloves of raw garlic every day... inhale, insert spoon with chopped garlic, big drink of water, breathe through mouth, eat something that tastes good! I mean I like garlic, but straight up? that's a little rough. Same ritual for cod liver oil, wouldn't you think?

[update] I was being unfair to the cod liver oil. No bad taste whatsoever. Didn't even taste fishy. Oily, to be sure, but the only taste was a hint of lemon (whew!). Turns out the bad rep for cod liver oil comes from the old days when it was rancid and not properly processed. And I can't believe I didn't mention the supplements I'm taking. In addition to our daily vitamins, I'm taking echinacea, extra ester Vitamin C, "Clear Lungs" (chinese herbs for lung health), and MSM (methylsulfonylmethane, good for your liver and respiratory health, among other things).

Another Setback

Arggghhh. This is SO frustrating.

Was feeling great last week. Still not doing cardio, but spiking my heart rate a little while doing weight training. Felt SO good to be sore from lifting! Friday night we got a tour of our condo building which is being built. It was VERY windy walking up to the jobsite, lots and lots of sand blowing right into our faces. Hmmm, that's probably not good for my lungs, huh? Even walking around inside was dusty and dirty, as you'd expect. Felt fine Friday night though.

Saturday I felt more congested than usual, and working seemed to tire me out more easily than usual. Spent Sunday resting on the couch with my vaporizer and my homeopathic cough syrup.

Monday. I was able to do weight training last week, so thought I'd try it again. Did an easy warm up on the treadmill. Heart rate never got over 90, but that chest tightness came back after about 7 mins. Not a lot, but enough that I noticed. So I got off. Headed to the weight room. Did some squats with a medicine ball. Second set I got that punched in the chest feeling. Shit! Moving On. Did some lunges. Got punched in the chest again. Ok, forget it, clearly I'm overdoing it. My heart rate did spike into the 130's, so I guess I was asking for it. Spent the rest of my workout time doing Pilates and stretching.

Got a little freaked out that that little bit of lifting had such an effect on me. Clearly the tour of the condo was more stressful to my lungs than I'd thought. I'm done fucking around with this. Taking the rest of this week off, and through the holiday weekend. No pilates, no workouts, not leaving the house. Looking through my recovery journal, it's crystal clear. I get better when I rest. Then I think I'm better than I am and I overdo it (or go on a tour of a sandy job site) and re-aggravate it. So...resting, resting, resting. Next Tuesday I'll start up again with my private Pilates lessons again. And I have a pilates class on Thursdays. That's all I'm doing that week. Just might kill me to be that sedentary. But the writing's on the wall. I need to fucking rest.

We're planning to go to San Diego at the end of the month. Until then I'm only doing Pilates. Everything else just gets my heart rate too high. Elevated heart rate and bad air quality are the two things that 'pick the scab', so I've got to stay away from them. Hopefully by the end of September I can go strolling on the beaches of San Diego!

This has been a very humbling experience. I really thought I was invincible. I eat right. I work out. Then a forest fire throws a curve my way and I'm sidelined. You can't control everything, huh?

Minor Setback

Mike and I stayed down on the Strip for a couple of days. Spent Wednesday shopping and did a little partying, but got to bed at a reasonable hour. All in all a good day.

I had a massage scheduled and always like to work out before if possible. Mike was on the elliptical when I came into the gym. He commented on how smooth the elliptical was, that I'd probably really like it. I had no intention of a killer cardio, but it looked like a fun machine and seemed a good option for a nice warm up before lifting. 9 minutes in and it felt like someone was pressing their fist right in the middle of my sternum. Oh shit. My heart rate WAS elevated, it was getting into the high 120's, but I wasn't sweating and didn't feel like I was breathing heavy or exerting myself. But my lungs thought otherwise. That's what I used to love about the elliptical, actually, you could get your heart rate really elevated, burn tons of calories, but not feel like you were killing yourself. Well, in this case, that very thing bit me right in the ass. Chest actually. Mike also brought up later that the air in the gym was pretty cold. That couldn't have helped either.

The tightness lingered, but I did some light lifting, Pilates, and stretching. Hung out in the steam room before my massage, which seemed to help. My nice long massage turned into a gab fest with the massage therapist. Jesus, he would NOT shut the fuck up! And he kept asking me direct questions. How can you ignore someone who's asking you direct questions? My two word answer would send him off on some new riff about something else. I know WAY too much about the therapist I had. I know, I should speak up. Next time.

Was wiped when I got back to the room. Just wanted to nap. So we did for a while. Rousted myself up for dinner. Looked great. Felt wiped. As the evening wore on, and we kept walking in and out of all the 2nd hand smoke, my chest continued to feel like someone punched me. We headed back to the room early, no partying, and Mike asked if we shouldn't just go home to our nice clean air. That's my sweetie, always looking out for me. Yes, let's go home!

Packed our bags and left about 11pm. So didn't have to worry about temptation at the buffet Friday morning, I was home having oatmeal and blueberries! Fired up all the air cleaning equipment and took it easy. Still feels like someone punched me in the sternum, but clean air and rest does make it feel better. Armed with what I learned from the doctor and more internet research here's what I think. It's an injury, not a virus. I think I sucked in some particulate matter when the forest fire smoke was sitting over the valley back in July. My resistance was down because I'd been overtraining, my lungs were probably already stressed for the same reason. And now it just needs to heal. Elevated heart rates stress it out, and second hand smoke irritate it. So I'm back to Mike's original plan of NO cardio for the next month at least. And no hanging out in casinos. Won't THAT cramp my style a bit?!

I've got a pretty killer immune system, all this clean living, so I'm not worried. Just need to eat especially good, and take it easy!! Not gonna let this get me down!!

Nice Little Workout

So now that I know it's not asthma I'm dealing with, I'm not afraid any longer that a little cardio is gonna make me DIE or set me back too far.

Did a nice little 10 minute warm up before doing legs today. Nothing crazy, but I did get my heart rate up to about 115. I know, I was going to lay off cardio completely for a month, but thinking about doing lunges without warming up first just felt a little...well, stupid! Had a nice little "combo legs" session. Several kinds of lunges, some one-legged squats and one-legged bridges using the Bosu Ball. Resting between legs if my heart rate go up too high and always letting it get back into the 80's before doing the next exercise. Finished with 20 minutes of stretching and my morning qi gong routine. On the way out we started up the steam room in the gym and stood in there in our workout clothes breathing in steam for 5 minutes or so.

Don't know how I'll feel later, but right now I feel great. Yes, I still have a little chest congestion, but it feels better for having had a little bit of work.

Take Control of Your Doctor

Today was my follow up with my doctor about my continuing lung irritation.

All my labs, fine. Chest xray. Fine. Test for clot in my lung. fine. Allergy test. Fine, not allergic to anything.

So...is it exercise induced asthma? No, she said. That doesn't explain the lingering congestion, if it was asthma I'd go back to feeling normal. She said the next step was a full pulmonary function test. When did you quit smoking? Like 25 years ago. Well, it could be the first signs of COPD, but I really don't think that's it, hmmm. ok, hold on a minute, let's back up. So, not asthma. What about the particulate pollution from the forest fires? Oh, yeah, that could have kick started the whole thing. She said the forest fires could have irritated my lungs, and a virus could have gotten hold in there but my good immune system kept me from getting full blown sick (part of my confusion about this whole thing, chest congestion without any fever, body aches, run down feeling). Mike had to interject that he came down with his first real cold in the last 10 years about the same time I started struggling with this. Well, there you go, she said. You're fighting off the same thing he was, and you're just a little more sensitive to the bad air quality, probably from overtraining, and it settled in your lungs. If you've been feeling better, just keep doing what you're doing and come see me if it gets worse or comes back and we can do the full pulmonary function test.

You can tell how much they really want you to take a test when you say "no". Full pulmonary test? No. Okay, in all likelihood it was the irritation from the forest fires that knocked you down a little...you say you're feeling better now so just keep doing what you're doing. They just need to put it in the chart. Patient denied recommended pulmonary function test. Ass covered. Next.

So, where does that leave me? I don't have asthma. That's good to know. So when this heals I can go back to doing cardio without having to worry about using inhalers. Which isn't to say I'm going to go back to killing myself with interval training 4 days a week like I was before. When the weather gets nicer we've decided we're going to go for at least one long walk out in our old neighborhood like we used to (the air over there is incredibly clean, the one thing we really liked about that part of town). In the meantime I'm going to treat this like a virus. Keep up with my garlic twice a day. Keep up with the extra vitamin C. Keep up with the vaporizer to help break up what's going on in there. Will probably pick up some echinacea on the way home. No cardio until several weeks after this is cleared up. Pilates. Some weight training but not heavy. Basically taking it easy!

Don't even want to think about how much this whole fiasco is going to cost me...sigh...stupidity tax...

I've got the cleanest air in town!

Air purifiers everywhere!

We've got a HEGA filter in the living/dining room and just got our new Venta Air Washer humidifier/purifier for the bedroom. Also just ordered new cabin air filters for our cars.

After taking it easy all weekend I was feeling great. I've been doing all the right things since seeing the doctor last Wednesday. Garlic twice a day. Lots of Vitamin C. Sitting next to a steam humidifier most of the time. Resting. Getting a little caffeine.

I was feeling so good I started to feel stupid for panicking and seeing a doctor. So I decided to venture out on Monday with Mike to tour the empire (visit our four stores). I'd had a nice easy weight training workout that morning and was feeling great, no chest tightness or coughing at all. Spent all afternoon going from the car (A/C blowing in my face) to outside (110) to A/C in the shop office (72) back outside (110) back to the hot car that had been sitting in the sun (275) to having the A/C blowing at me again, over and over and over again. By 5 o'clock I'd had it. Cough? Back. That feeling of someone sitting on my chest? Back. Crap!

Yesterday was Pilates, which always makes me feel great. Even worked up a nice little sweat. And today I'm taking off. We're heading down to the Strip later to do some shopping for Mike at the Fashion Show Mall, so hopefully the second hand smoke won't be too bad. The air quality down by the Strip is never great, though, because of all the traffic. So, we'll see how it goes.

Follow up doctor's visit is tomorrow morning. She said if my xray and blood work come back clean (which I'm confident they will) that she'd run the exercise induced asthma test. Oh yeah, and maybe get an ultrasound of my heart...no, don't think I'll be paying for that... doctors, jesus...

Heal Thyself

I have to say that's something that really bugs the shit out of me about doctors.

She didn't mention one single thing that I should do to help me heal between my visit last week and my follow up to review my test results.

Didn't advise me not to do cardio, or get a vaporizer, or take lots of vitamin C, or drink lots of fluids, nothin'.

Now I know she wasn't sure what I've, but none of those things are harmful no matter what it is, in fact all of those things could be helpful no matter what it is.

This is why you've got to learn to take care of yourself, because doctors aren't healers, they're just not. I'm resting and feeling better. I suspect by the time I have my follow up visit on Thursday this will be mostly over (here's hoping!)

Calmer States

After having a day to reflect on yesterday's doctor visit, here are my thoughts.

First, to recap, my visit was inconculsive. She tested me for asthma, which came back negative. Today I went in for blood work (complete allergy profile, thyroid, who knows what else, I filled lots of vials today) and a chest x-ray. Follow up visit next Thursday.

Now that I'm not so freaked out that she brought up possibilities like a f'ing blood clot in my lung, I'm calmer today. Since this whole thing started I've been repeatedly stressing my poor little lungs, just at lower levels so I never reached the full blown "attack" stage, but not giving them a chance to recover fully either. I never rested more than 3 days in a row...and, for the record, when I rest I feel better. I'd feel better so I would just go back to doing too much too soon and it would kick back up again. No wonder I still have a little fluid in my lungs 4 weeks later.

Wow, now that I just summed it up like that, pretty fucking stupid of me to keep doing cardio, huh? Seems pretty OBVIOUS. But when you're IN it, you just don't have clarity. That's my excuse anyway. Or...I could just be fucking stubborn (nawww).

Mike's problem with me seeing a doctor is that I haven't been really taking good care of myself. Not giving my body a chance to heal itself. And he's right (again! you'd think I'd learn after 19+ years!).

So...step 1, talked it through with Mike, my unofficial trainer, and we came up with a new exercise prescription. No cardio. None. For 4 weeks. Strength training and Pilates only. I've never felt worse after doing either of those, just after doing cardio. Doc, it hurts when I do this. Well, don't DO that! Pilates makes me feel better (lots of deep breathing), so more Pilates. I'm adding a weekly class onto my private session each week and my teacher recommended a book so I could do it the rest of the week on my own.

Step 2, garlic. A clove of raw garlic twice a day (kills about everything).

Step 3, air quality. I've order a room humidified/air cleaner for the bedroom (recommendation from my Pilates teacher). We ordered a new HEGA air cleaner for the rest of the place. And I picked up a warm mist humidifier this afternoon. It's cranking away next to my bed right now and I'll have it next to me whenever I'm sitting on the couch vegging to TiVo. Will also be avoiding all exposure to second hand smoke for two weeks at least (doesn't THAT cut into my social life a bit!).

Step 4, supplements. Extra C. My multi has 2000 mg, and I'm adding 2000 to that. Also just received a special Sinus Health supplement that I'd ordered, will be taking that twice a day.

Step 5, rest. No late nights. Like now, time to get to sleep!

And yes, I'll be going back to the doctor next Thursday. I hope I'm looking back on this in a month feeling stupid for not resting!

Wishing for Asthma

doc visit was inconclusive {sigh}

Funny - or not - to actually WISH she'd said "yup, you have asthma". EKG normal (good), and I'm getting plenty of oxygen (good) but the lung capacity test showed some limitation. So they did an asthma test where you breath in asthma meds for 10 minutes and they test your lung capacity again. If it got better, then the meds helped, and you have asthma. The meds did NOT make me feel better, so I was not surprised when the follow up lung capacity test showed no improvement.

So...fasting blood work tomorrow morning with a complete allergy profile, thyroid function, blah, blah, blah, and a chest x-ray. If that all comes back clean then she'll order an exercise induced asthma test where they have you on a treadmill while they do the asthma med test again (although she said exercise induced asthma doesn't explain why I have the tightness all the time) and maybe an ultrasound of my heart (jesus, that sounds bad!). I need to wait a week to know the results of the x-ray and the blood work, which sucks.

Two things worry me...I told her when my heart rate gets the slightest bit elevated, like over 100, that it kicks up she said "hmm, that's not normal" (shit) and she said they need to rule things out like a blood clot in my lung (blood clot?!! fuck!).

Mike says I'm in the medical triangle now, and that I should just keep doing low level cardio until it gets better. But it seems to kick up in the afternoons after doing cardio, even when I keep my heart rate below 95, and that is just not normal, which concerns me. Of course, today I don't know if it's from this morning's workout or from the stupid asthma meds! Tomorrow's a pilates class, which always seems to make me feel better, and Friday and Saturday I think I'm going to only do a short warm up and then lift. Until I know for sure what the fuck is going on with me (blood clot?! fuck!) I'm not going to risk aggravating it with any sort of cardio.

Mike's Rehab Routine, Workout #3

another day of low level cardio. Again, my instructions were not to exceed 95 bpm and only do 35 mins.Today was recumbant bike. Jacked into my favorite fitpod mix and kept the resistance at level 1 so I didn't spike my heart rate.

At the beginning when my heart rate would creep up towards 95 my chest and throat would tighten up just a bit, so I'd concentrate on relaxing and breathing deeper and slower. My heart rate would go down by about 5 bpm and the tightness would dissipate. By the end of the 35 mins, when it would get up towards 95 the tightness wasn't happening. I'm convinced that if this is asthma I'm dealing with that I'll be able to re-train my body that cardio is NOT going to kill me.

Did some abs and lots and lots of Pilates stretching. I'm amazed to see my flexibility actually increasing. And closed with a qi gong breathing exercise. Very cleansing and relaxing. Felt better after Pilates yesterday than I have in weeks, so I'm adding a class to my once a week personal session. I have visions of learning enough to get certified. What can I say? I'm hooked!

Doctor's appt in a couple of hours. My first time meeting her so I sure hope my friend is right and she knows what the hell she's talking about! She's a DO so I'm the *littlest* bit optimistic that she won't reach for her prescription pad first thing. Or at least won't argue with me when I tell her I won't take any drugs! Should be interesting!

Mike's Rehab Routine, Workout #2

Today was Pilates day.

Mike's instruction, not to exceed 95 heart rate. I LOVE my Pilates teacher Nina (isn't she gorgeous??! inside and out). She was off last week and I worked out with another teacher, and it just was not the same, so I was glad to have her back today.

Nina was a personal trainer before she got into Pilates, so her workouts have a more strength training emphasis than the yoga-ish girl I worked with last week. She's incredibly form focused and observant, knowing just what to say to keep me in proper form and mentally engaged. Today's workout was constant, we went from one exercise right into the next (as Pilates is meant to be done, as Nina keeps telling me). Worked out with my heart rate monitor and most of the time it stayed between 65-85. Only once did it spike to 100. Felt better after Pilates than I have in weeks! Must be all the breathing.

Doctor's visit tomorrow. After much internet research I'm thinking I've got asthma. We'll see what her diagnosis and treatment plan is (which'll be interesting since I won't take prescription drugs!). Nina said Joseph Pilates was an asthmatic, which is why Pilates involves so much breath work. So I might just be doing Pilates more than once a week soon!

Mike's Rehab Routine, Workout #1

Walked for 35 minutes with my new heart rate monitor this afternoon.

First, can I just say how cool the heart rate monitor is? All the cardio equipment in the gym is polar ready so my heart rate was on the treadmill the whole time. Takes so little to entertain me sometimes!

I was instructed to not let my heart rate get over 95, and did really well except for 10 seconds or so when it slipped up to 98. For the most part I spent the whole 35 minutes between 90 and 95. The sweet spot seemed to be walking 3.5 mph with a 1% incline.

I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, but honestly it was depressing to not work up a sweat. I tried to make the most of it, concentrating on my form, and keeping time with my fitpod mix. But a heart rate of 95 is like doing nothing! I know, I know, it is better than doing nothing, but arggghh! I got through the 35 mins without any chest tightness, though, and that was the goal.

Mike has finally beaten into my head that if I overdo it again I'm only going to set myself back another couple of weeks, so I've GOT to take it easy. But I don't have to be happy about it damn it! I finished with some abs and my stretching routine and closed with a qi gong breathing/relaxation exercise, so it was relaxing if nothing else!

Gearing Up for a Long Haul

I just know this lung thing, whatever it is, is not going to go away anytime soon.

It's been 4 weeks, and any increased heart rate or bad air kicks it right up. The only thing that settles it down is clean air and rest. I thought it was finally getting better, been laying off the workouts, staying inside with my air cleaner, and was feeling better. But we went out for a couple of beers with my son on Thursday and between the two beers, the bad air quality outside, and the 2nd hand smoke inside, my lungs were objecting...strongly. The cough and the chest tightness came RIGHT back like it was never gone. FUCK!

The last couple of days I've been taking it easy, not working out at all while my son's here, and it's better again, but I can't live my life this way. We went to the movies this afternoon and just walking through the 2nd hand smoke of the casino to get to the theatre I felt it kick right up again (yes, in Vegas lots of the theatres are inside casinos!). My gut is telling me it's a *condition*, not a virus that's causing this. No runny nose, no post nasal drip, no headaches, no body aches, no fever, no feeling of being run down. My lungs just seize up when challenged.

Finally going to the doctor on Wednesday, I can't take not KNOWING what this is. Whatever's causing it, my workouts are going to be taken down huge notches for at least a month and that's got me a little worried. My workouts let me eat whatever I want! My diet's good, full of healthy, unprocessed foods, so I only gain weight when my regular workouts get compromised for one reason or another (earlier this year it was back and ankle tattoos and minor surgery).

Every time I've tried to limit my eating all I do is think about what I can't eat and then all I want to do is eat! I'm going to really, really try to think of it as giving my body only good, healthy things to help it heal. Focus on the good stuff there's no room for bad stuff...right?

My New Personal Trainer

So Monday's workout was ok. Warmed up SLOWLY for about 15 minutes and could feel my chest tighten up, so instead of doing a full cardio workout like I'd planned I did some leg machines for about 45 mins. I usually do free weight stuff for legs, squats, lunges, deadlifts, so it was good for me to do some isolation work for a change. Tried not to overdo it. And Pilates yesterday was a little less strenuous than usual since my regular teacher wasn't there and her replacement wasn't as strength training focused, so we did more stretching work, which was good for me.

But the chest tightness continues, although it IS getting better. So my honey Mike has announced he's taking over my fitness regimen! Since I'm prone to pushing it even when I'm trying to take it easy he's going to make me stick to a low level routine for at least a couple of weeks. At Michael's insistence I walked today for only 30 mins and kept my heart rate under 90. Just when I thought, hey, I feel really good, and I bumped up my time to 60 minutes he came walking over and announced "ok, babe, that's it for you". But! But! I feel great and just upped it to 60! Couldn't argue with him, I knew he was right. Did spend a good 20 minutes stretching afterwards, and finished with a qi gong relaxation/deep breathing routine which felt great. Told Mike the qi gong has to be part of my rehab routine!

He ordered me a heart rate monitor as soon as we got back from the gym. It saves your workout and how much time you spent in your target zone, so there won't be any cheating (darn it!). Seriously, I know it will be good for me to be forced to slow down. My son arrives tomorrow morning for a 4 day visit so it'll be a good excuse to take 4 days off.

I'm listening! I swear!

Yesterday's workout was LOW level cardio, and I felt fine throughout, but afterwards the chest thing kicked up a little.

Did some more online research and think I may be the victim of overtraining. Occurred to me that not only have I kicked the intensity WAY up in the last 4 months but we also changed our workout schedule from taking Wednesdays and Sundays off to going 5 days in a row and taking the weekends off.

So...until this whole thing resolves itself, I'm going back to taking a day off in the middle of the week. And that day is today!

Hey! This RESTING thing works!

An extra day of rest did me a world of good.

Sat on my butt all day Monday. Sadly work got in the way and I didn't get to laze away the day killing aliens, I had to deal with the phone service being out at all four of our stores instead, but I did spend all day on the couch.

Had my Pilates lesson yesterday but didn't do any cardio prior. My Pilates teacher is incredibly knowledgeable and we did lots of chest/lung expanding work. She took it a bit easy on me, but I still got a decent workout and worked up a nice little sweat. Felt great afterwards. This morning will be the test. Going to try to do some LOW level cardio.

Still bugs me that I don't know exactly what happened. What makes it feel like you have someone sitting on your chest? I haven't been able to find any information online to help answer that question. I do think my hubby's right (yet again), I think I just overdid it. I'd been steadily upping the length and intensity of my cardio, and I just reached my limit. Throw in some bad air quality from the area forest fires, some decreased resistance from 5 days of vacation (too much alcohol, rich food, lack of sleep, second hand smoke) and whammo! So, I'm not invincible after all!

[addendum]Made it through my low level workout just fine. Warmed up nice and slow for 10 minutes, then gradually got my heart rate up to 105-110 for 35 mins, followed by a 5 min cool down (didn't feel like I needed a cool down from a 105 bpm, but it's part of the ritual!). Turns out 105-110 is enough to get a nice little sweat going. Stretching afterwards felt great. Respected my limitations. Very humbling!

Sick Day!

Calling in a sick day today.

After being out late Saturday night, drinking too much, sucking in too much second hand smoke and only getting 4 hours of sleep, woke up yesterday feeling like CRAP, like a wet washcloth had been stuffed down into my lungs. This lung situation is starting to get seriously annoying. I even considered - gasp! - going to the doctor to see exactly what the hell this is. A good night's sleep last night did wonders, I feel much, MUCH better this morning. But the slightest exertion is bringing on the cough. At least the cough has gone from dry to wet, so I feel at least like some sort of progress is being made. If I'm coughing it up it's not stuck in my lungs anymore, right?

Still no fever, no aches, no "sick" feeling, just a tight chest, like someone's sitting on me, and an occasional deep cough. Very weird. Yesterday I thought no way, no how was I working out today. Period. Mike wanted me to try to do low level cardio just to get the blood pumping. I felt so good when I woke up this a.m. that I was going to take his advice. But after being up and around, even he said "honey, I think you better just take it easy today". So it's a day on the couch for me! Video games. Hot tea. Some yogic breathing my Pilates teacher taught me. More video games. We'll see what a day of resting brings.

Gotta Listen to Your Body

Well, my body is telling me to lay off. Big Time.

Ever since coming back from vacation last week I've been suffering bouts of exercise induced asthma (or something!), when doing cardio. The first time it didn't kick in until about half an hour in, but ever since then it's a struggle to keep it under control from the minute my heart rate gets at all elevated. Basically I feel like I can't get a full breath, and that tight chest feeling doesn't go away after I'm done working out, it's staying with me thoughout the day. I don't have any symptoms of being sick, though. No fever, lots of energy, no headache. So I don't think it's viral.

The onset of symptoms after vacation is suspicious to me, however. strange germs? 2nd hand smoke exposure? maybe it's the area forest fires that have put a haze over the valley in the last week or so? Whatever the trigger, it's been pulled. Took Saturday and Sunday off. Saturday that tight chest feeling hung around all day, but felt better on Sunday. Decided to play it safe this morning, even though I felt just fine, and kept the exertion level down. Didn't do the trick. Oh, I got through my workout, keeping my heart rate under 120 so my lungs could keep going, but now, 12 hours later, I'm fighting my cough reflex and the chest tightness is the worse it's been. CLEARLY I've overdone it.

I've been pushing my cardio sessions harder and harder recently. Going longer. Going harder. Doing 4 cardio workouts a week. 4 months ago I was taking two 90-min walks per week and only have one other cardio workout. Even when I was training with my personal trainer I never did more than 3 cardios a week, and they weren't as intense or as long as my recent workouts have been. Since March, I'm doing 3 dedicated hour long cardio's a week, plus doing my upper body workout as circuit training with 2 mins of intense cardio bursts. My hubby says I've just been overdoing it. period. And my body is letting me know it's not happy about it.

The beginning

Had an episode of exercise induced asthma both yesterday and the day before. Both times about 20 minutes in. Haven't had that happen to be since, wow, it's been a LONG time...and I was *really* pushin' it when it happened before.

This time I was just goin' along doin' my regular thang when wham, chest and throat tightened up, tried pushing through it, breathing deeper and it just got worse. Had to really slow it down to recover. I can still feel that my chest is tight this morning, so today it's going to be a longer much lower level cardio workout. And then I've got the next two days off. My pilates teacher thinks it's all the smoke in the air - area forest fires have left the valley really hazy the last week or so.