Nope, not that either.

Just an update for anyone who happens to find this saga while searching for answers for their own health problems.

My pulmonologist told me my comprehensive breathing test showed some constriction on inhalation (or was it exhalation, honestly I forget) which was the opposite of what someone with asthma shows. Well, I knew that already, I don't have asthma. He theorized some prior infection that damaged my bronchial passage (even though I had no signs, ever, of an infection) and recommended I supplement with 1-3 Beta Glucan, a general immune system booster and something that helps with tissue healing. He'd seen remarkable improvement in other patients with this natural supplement.  Natural general immune boosting supplement?  Right up my alley. So I started taking Beta Glucan and crossed my fingers. 

note: if you'd like to try Beta Glucan, research brands, and make sure you get WGP (whole gluten protein) Beta Glucan. After much research, I settled on the Beta Force brand.

But I must admit the Beta Glucan didn't do the trick. Same heaviness in my chest. Same trouble breathing.

BUT there's a happy ending to this story, which I'll post in a separate post.

Because that's what we do...

So I saw the cardiologist for an ultrasound of my heart (aka echocardiogram) the other day.

The test itself was pretty interesting. Something quite primal about seeing your heart pumping. thump-thump...thump-thump. I even got to see it in color. Artificially generated color, true, but still cool.

I saw the cardiologist afterwards and I was anticipating a conversation about mitral valve repair. I've had a heart murmur forever and about 15 years ago a doctor told me I had mitral valve prolapse, a fairly common heart valve defect. That diagnosis is what resulted in me being allergic to almost every common antibiotic.

Some creative thinker came up with the theory that if you have mitral valve prolapse (or any heart valve defect for that matter) getting your teeth cleaned could dislodge bacteria which would travel through your bloodstream, settle in your defective valve, lead to endocarditis (an infection in your heart) and you could die. So for several years like a good girl, as recommended by the American Dental Association and the American Heart Association, I took antibiotics every time I went to the dentist. Had one allergic reaction after another until even my doctor agreed that for my health I should stop taking antibiotics to prevent a potential infection. God forbid I get an actual infection and not be able to treat it. Found out later that the whole endocarditis from dental work theory is just that, a theory. Even the American Heart Association now says the former policy was overly aggressive. Just another example of why I hate the medical industry.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Mitral valve repair. So I'm expecting them to find some regurgitation (which is just like it sounds, blood leaks backwards through the valve) and then try to talk me into heart valve repair surgery. So I get the echo. I wait and wait for the doc and we finally get blessed with his presence. Echo? "Heart function at rest completely normal." Totally and completely normal. What about my mitral valve prolapse? Any signs of regurgitation? Um, yeah, about that. No sign of mitral valve prolapse. You just have a noisy valve, that's it.

So after seeing the cardiologist I find out I'm healthier than I thought I was when I walked in, which is always a good thing, but all those years with those fucking antibiotics were now even more of a waste. Forget theoretical discussions about heart infections from getting your teeth cleaned, I don't even have a heart valve defect. Fuck me.

"And you're declining the stress test?" Well, yeah. Elevating my heart rate is one of the things that sets back my recovery, I'm not keen on doing that for no reason. So give me a good reason doc. "Because that's what we do when someone presents with your symptoms." Someone. Your standard issue fat, sedentary 45 yr old who smokes socially comes in complaining of chest pain and me...more physically fit than most 30 year olds, excellent diet, low blood pressure, low resting heart rate, quit smoking a million years ago...we both get the same test. That's just terrific. My husband and I pressed him again...what is he looking for in a stress test that lines up with my symptoms (delayed inflammatory reaction to talking, bad air, and yes elevated heart rate...but no symptoms at the time - which is why I keep overdoing it - they show up 12-24 hrs later). Is the stress test going to uncover something that doesn't show up until the next day? Um, no, but still, "it's what we do". Do I have symptoms of blocked arteries? No. Do I have signs of coronary artery disease? No. But still it's the test they do. Well, not to me, doc. I'll pass.

I see the pulmonologist for a follow up on Wednesday. I'm confident my answers lie there.

Full Pulmonary Function Test

I got to sit in a phone booth and breathe into a tube. Over. And over. And over again.

For the sake of information I did what I know is one of my triggers...I breathed hard. Really hard. Several times.

When you do a pulmonary function test they have you breathe out all your air as fast and as hard as you can, and then keep breathing for 6 seconds, then breathe in a full breath. They measure all sorts of things, volume in, volume out, expiration rate, inspiration rate (eureka!? no, not that kind of inspiration). I've been doing Buteyko breathing exercises for almost a year, working on not breathing lots of air and here I was sucking in and blowing out as much as I could. Definitely not in keeping with Buteyko!

Then they give you a drug that open up your breathing passages, albuterol in my case, and do the test again and compare the results. If the drugs help, you have asthma (well, maybe). Anyone who knows me knows it took a lot for me to suck in drugs for the sake of research!

They also did a test where they have you pant against resistance that can tell them if you have "air trapping" where you aren't getting your breath because you have stale air stuck in your lungs.

I found out from the tech at the time that I definitely don't have air trapping, so that's good. And the albuterol did help a bit with my "small airways", whatever the hell that means. And she saw an indication of vocal chord dysfunction, which is an interesting piece of information, will have to research that now.

Pulmonologist reviews the rests, and the results of the echocardiagram next Wednesday. Will get complete answers to things like what does improved function in small airways mean? and do I have vocal chord dysfunction (certainly talking is one of my major stressors)? Could I be getting close to some sort of answer? Should be interesting.

Got a LITTLE overenthusiastic!

After seeing the cardiologist and the pulmonologist I felt emotionally better if nothing else. Yes, the cardiologist freaked me out a bit with his focus on my wacky heart valve, but after Mike talked me down and made me realize my symptoms don't line up with heart failure, I decided that kicking it up a notch wasn't going to kill me. After all, the cardiologist wanted me to do a full on stress test, getting my heart rate up into the 130's, so clearly he wasn't afraid I was going to drop dead from a little cardiovascular exercise!

I was feeling the best I've felt in a long time a week ago Friday...couldn't help singing in the car even (funny how simply not being scared will make you feel better!), so I kicked it up last week. Wednesday was cardio day. For the last few weeks I've been doing LOW level cardio (keepin' the old heart rate under 100), but last Wednesday I let it hover 115-120 for about 15 minutes. My lungs did start to tighten up, but I concentrated on relaxing, not letting them be in charge, and they settled down. Felt good. Also let my heart rate drift to 120 when weight training. I kept it civilized, making sure I rested between sets, but allowed myself a little exertion. Felt great afterwards.

Thursday I trained my Pilates teacher (I know, that sounds backwards), and she was teaching a Reformer class after our session and asked if I wanted to take it. I didn't have my heart rate monitor with me, but said "Fuck It! Yes!". I could tell I was pushing it a couple of times, and I stopped myself before getting crazy, but I'm guessing again I was pushing it into the 120's. At one point my teacher if she was getting me up there and I said yes, she was, but I decided I was pissed off and my body was just going to have to deal! That's my new attitude toward my lungs...deal with it you lazy fuckers!

After teaching my private client on Friday morning people started to drift in for the noon Reformer class at the studio, but hmm, no instructor. I called her to see if she was on her way and she thought the class started at 12:30. Oops! I asked if she wanted me to teach the class for her, which she appreciated. That, as it turns out, was my big mistake. Not pushing it with cardio on Wednesday. Not pushing it with Pilates on Thursday. Teaching that fucking class on Friday was the killer. First of all can I just say I hate teaching classes? No time to correct people's form, I didn't have time to prepare and had to think on my feet which I also don't much care for, and I have to TALK TOO DAMNED LOUD!

One of my Saturday clients didn't show so I worked out instead, again without my heart rate monitor (thought I'd be teaching, not doing!). That was not a bright idea. An hour later it was clear I should have rested. Not that I felt terrible, but the body was saying "hey! dumbshit! You just taught that stupid class yesterday after pushing it 2 days in a row and now you expect me to work out? WTF?". Sorry, wasn't paying attention! My "spot" in my chest wall returned, tightness like someone was pressing on me returned, just general "oh shit, I overdid it" feeling returned. Oh well, nothing a little (or a lot) of rest won't cure!

Rested the remainder of Saturday and all of Sunday. Chilled the fuck out. And didn't work out yesterday in preparation for the breathing test which I knew would be a little stressful on the old lungs. Pulmonary Function Test in the next post.

Into the Medical Vortex

So this lung thing has been going on for almost 15 months now. I'm feeling well enough that I think it's time to start doing some cardio again, pushing the limit - forcing my body to step up to the plate. But I want to have some assurance that I'm not being stupid, that upping the activity isn't going to hurt me. I've stayed away from docs until now so I don't have a diagnosis of what this is. But it's time now for some answers.

So it's off I go in search of answers...without letting them suck me too far in.

Step 1. The GP. She was highly recommended by two friends of mine. They know I'm Ms. Integrative Medicine and both said she'd be very open to my way of doing things. She met and talked with me for about an hour. An hour! And she actually listened to me. Ok, so she wasn't right about everything (she told me based on my labs that I shouldn't be having periods anymore, but I researched it and that's old-school thinking) and she declared 7 drinks a week was the definition of a problem drinking for women (7 drinks a week would be a problem for some people, but for everyone? I'm not a fan of one rule applies to everyone). But all in all I liked her very much. She wanted me to see a cardiologist and a pulmonologist.

Step 2. The Cardiologist. Not Dr. Personality, but he listened. Well, with one ear at least. I told him I think this is a lung thing, not a heart thing, but once he heard my heart murmur he went right down the path of heart defect. I've had that friggin' heart murmur my whole life. And heart defect doesn't explain why smoky air or talking too much triggers my symptoms. He wants a full blown stress test and to do an echo cardiogram (ultrasound of the heart, where they'll be able to see my heart valve make its funky sound). I'm declining the stress test, I simply do NOT have blocked arteries. Makes no sense to me, don't need to elevate my heart rate (one of my lung triggers) to prove that that's not the problem. I think that's one of those easy tests that they know your insurance will approve and doesn't require any of their time (a tech they pay $10/hr does the test). Nope. Sorry. But I am going to let them take a look at my heart functioning. Scheduled for Oct. 4th.

Step 3. The Pulmonologist. Would he believe me when I tell him it's a lung thing? Yes. He did. It was clear that he'd read the long summary that I printed out for the GP (wow, that's new!). And this guy finally started asking the right questions...when this started were you having plumbing problems? mold? are you exposed to chemicals in your job? were you ever sick? was your husband sick about the same time? As it turns out, yes, my husband had a really nasty virus (the one and only time he's been sick in the last 7 years) when this whole thing started. He said typically when someone suddenly develops asthma-like symptoms out of the blue it's a bacterial infection that damages the bronchial passages and then once the infection is gone your body gets stuck in the "on" position, continuing the inflammatory response until the damage is completely healed. He said that explains why I'm getting better, the damage is slowly healing. Wow! That makes sense! He wants to re-do the pulmonary function test I did last year (did wrong as it turns out) to get a good reading on how my lungs are functioning. Requires drugs, but ok, just this once. He also said the echo cardiogram would give him useful information, to see how my heart and lungs are playing together. Easy enough I was going to have that done anyway. But he agreed that I don't need a full on stress test. Good to know.

So new pulmonary function test next week, and a echo a few days later (I'm guessing the cardiologist will freak out that I won't do the stress test - too bad!). Finally a follow up visit with the lung guy, who's practice name includes the phrase "Integrative Medicine", and I think he means it. I might have found someone who's not the typical MD. He looked at the list of supplements I take and said they've almost certainly helped me get healthier. He didn't argue when I said I wouldn't take any drugs. He said, yes, try acupuncture, that might be helpful. He knew of the Buteyko breathing exercises. I'm cautiously optimistic...

Drugs and recovery

Been a while since I posted here. That's a good sign, it means I haven't had any setbacks!

It's true. No setbacks. I signed up for the BASI Pilates Teaching Certification Course (Pilates has saved me, how could I not decide to become a Pilates teacher??) which started two weeks ago. Part of what's required is to learn all the exercises, of course, which necessitates practice. Lots and lots of practice. I wasn't sure that I'd be up to the physical challenge, but since Pilates typically makes me feel better (only makes me feel worse when I don't listen to my heart rate monitor!) I figured I was just gonna jump in with both feet and see what happened.

For the last two weeks I've been doing Pilates 5 days a week. That's quite a jump in activity level from where I was even two months ago. I'm wearing my heart rate monitor and resting between exercises when I need to, but for the most part it's non-stop Pilates. And I'm thriving. This is the best I've felt since this whole craziness started. Is it all the lateral breathing (breathing into the sides of your ribs)? Low-heart rate activity? I don't know. I don't care. It just feels great to be active again.

And all without drugs. Any drugs. I admit in the beginning it was pretty scary. But I was more scared of the drugs than of my lungs not working. Asthma drugs didn't work on me, so those were never a temptation. My only option was prednisone, a steroid, and I just wasn't going to go there, way too scary. Steroids are immune suppressors ferchristssake, they give it to organ transplant patients to treat organ rejection. Incredibly powerful drugs, steroids. I rather like my immune system, thank you, I think I'll keep it. Read the potential side effects of prednisone on wikipedia. It should scare the hell out of you. Scares the hell out of me. Side effects like euphoria and mania? Sound far out, right? No. Happened to someone close to me after one single dose. One dose.

Yes, it's a pain in the ass to do things the natural way. I have to eat right. I have to meditate. I have to take garlic, and remember to make myself ginger tea. And not work out too hard. And yes, it's frustrating and sometimes scary to have a setback. But if I was on drugs, would I feel the setback? Would I know that I needed to take it easy? Think about that for a moment. If you're on drugs that make you FEEL good you're much more likely to push past your natural boundaries.

The past 8 months have been long, admittedly. But I've learned a great lesson. Listen, listen, listen to your body. Give it what it needs and let it do its job.

You, The Owner's Manual

If you have any interest in how your body generally operates, pick up a copy of "You, The Owner's Manual". Comprehensive and fun to read. Got mine yesterday for 30% off at Borders. The big moment for me was on page one of the chapter on Lungs (emphasis is mine):

"In fact, when it comes to your airways, the small things post the greatest threat...When you take bacteria, viruses, and other particles into your lungs, your system is able to stop the larger particles, because they get trapped by the lung's natural defenses. They beat the particles out of your windpipes with little brushes called cilia and force them out of your body through coughing, sneezing, and blowing your nose. But even smaller particles - particles we can't actually see - can slip through the defense system much like a great running back breaks tackles. Undetected, these particles actually cause an inflammatory reaction that destroys part of your lung tissue - and puts you at greater risk for various lung disorders."

No shit. That seems a very simple explanation of exactly what happened to me and, from some of the forums I read, in various forms to lots of other people too. The difference for me is that when I read those forums everyone is on some medication or another (or more commonly on 3 or 4). Steroids. Bronchodialotors. And they're not getting better. I, on the other hand, am only on good nutrition, supplements, Buteyko exercises and regular doses of Pilates and seem to be making all kinds of progress. Admittedly, it feels achingly slow at times, but when I read forum posts from people suffering similar symptoms, but going months with no improvement, I suddenly don't feel so bad. Looking back, I've made quite a bit of progress. Spent the weekend talking to my son. Yes, I could tell it was taxing, but 2 months ago I couldn't have spent an hour talking to him, much less 3 days. I'm not saying that my course is right for everybody, I'm sure there are people who are helped by the meds, but I'm saying if results are the measure, my way seems a valid alternative more people should at least consider.

We'll see how much progress I can make in the next 6 weeks. I'm going to be taking a comprehensive pilates certification course which will require me to be working out as much as I'm able. Incentive!!

The ups and the downs

I've never had to deal with an ongoing injury like this lung thing. Messes with your head.

I gradually get better, start to think I'm heading out of the woods (for good this time, right?), then I overdo it and I have a little relapse. That's when it's so easy to get scared. What the fuck IS this exactly? Why do I feel better when I'm working out but sometimes the chest tightness happens several hours later? If a killer Pilates class is bad for me, wouldn't it feel bad when I'm doing it, instead of 5 hours later? And why does one Pilates class make me feel so much better (like last Thursday's mat class) and another wipe me out and get me back to feeling like someone is sitting on my chest (like last Tuesday's reformer class)? I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor on Tuesday. Is it as simple as I just did too much even though it didn't feel like it at the time?

Fuck, this is exhausting...mentally I mean. I'm so sick of being sick. And sick of being scared. Easy to think I'm taking the right course when I'm getting better. But when I have these relapses I start to wonder if there's something I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing, or something I should be doing that I'm not doing, all out of sheer ignorance. Yes. I could go see a doctor again. I think about that occasionally. But a "regular" doctor is just someone I'm going to frustrate and there's not a naturopath in the area. I won't take steroids. I won't take drugs. I won't let them do a stress test on my lungs (after all this work to keep my activity level down I'm going to jump on a treadmill so they can prove to themselves that yes, exercise shuts my lungs down? duh). I won't let them do a lung biopsy (yeah, that'll help me heal faster, cut some of it out). I'm willing to do anything non-invasive...MRI, ultrasound, etc., but those are fucking expensive tests. And once I had a definitive diagnosis (which isn't guaranteed by any means) what would it change? That would just put me back having the argument about taking drugs.

Looking back I can see that I'm getting better. Most of the time I can talk as much as I want. That was not always the case. I can go to the grocery store and Pilates classes and out to dinner. That was not always the case. So even though it's incredibly frustrating to have these little setbacks, I'm bouncing back much, much faster and my setbacks are now better than where i used to be all the time. Must keep my perspective. So I'll keep workin' the program and trying to avoid setbacks. Eat right. Pilates (but not too strenuous). Clean, humidied air. Buteyko exercises. Manage my schedule so I'm not doing too much on any particular day.

Gotta just keep my head down and work the fucking program.

Vacation and Pilates

Didn't know if I'd survive more than 4 days out in the real world, but I managed just fine, thank you very much. Admittedly after eating too much, drinking great wine every night, staying up too late, and breathing non-humidified air, I was ready to get back to my healthy diet and my purified, humidifed air. But I really thought I'd pay a big price for all that partying. I was going downhill there for a few days right after we got home, but went to a Pilates mat class and it perked me right up. Thanks to Pilates I've bounced back nicely. What a relief.

Speaking of which, decided on my birthday trip that I'm going to get certified to teach Pilates. It's become an important part of my life. These past 6 months or so it has saved me. I want to know more. I want to know everything. And if I can help someone else discover the wonders of Pilates, even better.

Back to having a life!

Been getting back to my old regular life a bit lately.

Yesterday we ventured back into the world again. Did a driving tour of downtown Vegas (such as it is) and went to see the new Bond movie followed by dinner and wine. Hit some 2nd hand smoke going through the casino to get to the theatre and then again after dinner as we blew $20 on a slot machine on our way out (yes, the movie theatres here are located inside casinos!) and talked, and talked, and talked throughout dinner. Mostly about how disappointed we were in the Bond film.

Point is, I did lots of stuff that's moderately stressful (talking a lot, smoky air) and I seem to be doing ok. Yes, my chest feels a little "stuffy" today, but my Buteyko CP's (controlled pause) were really good this morning (30!) and I think I'll recover just fine.

Lastly I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Pilates is awesome! Went to mat class feeling like I had a small cloud of crap sitting in my chest, and came home feeling great. Chest feels clear and bonus? My butt feels sore!

Keep a Positive Attitude

Admittedly my little setback over the Thanksgiving weekend bummed me out.

But my recovery was quick. I still need to be careful, I pushed it a little last Tuesday...pilates, grocery store run, then decided to whip up a batch of granola before making dinner. That was a little much. But the rest of the week went smoothly, even got in a little low level cardio on Saturday. We also braved some second-hand smoke and got out into the world on Saturday afternoon for a few hours. I walked. I talked. And I was fine.

Talking has been my big trigger. But I talked to my son yesterday for an hour and a half and didn't have any sort of reaction. THAT's progress!

Just gotta keep sticking to the plan and recognizing my limits. I'm getting to bed early, I think that's helped, eating healthfully, doing my Buteyko exercises, taking my supplements, spacing out my activities. The result seems to be increased recovery time. I think I'm finally getting ahead of this thing!

On the downslope (again)

I'm keeping a positive attitude, I AM getting better, but I do feel worse this Monday than last Monday. Only a little worse, but I was hoping that resting over the Thanksgiving weekend would have me feeling perkier.

Because of Thanksgiving I missed my usual Thursday Pilates class, so no pilates "boost" on Thursday. We did go for a nice long walk on Friday, which made me feel better, although when we got home I had to pee so bad I took the 4 flights of stairs to our apartment instead of waiting for the elevator. My heart rate monitor was beeping at me for the last two (but I had to pee!), I maxed out at 136. I didn't feel any ill effects at the time, but I think that was more cardio-vascular stress than I could handle because that's when the backsliding started. I was waiting for water to boil the next day and decided while I was just standing there I'd do some pilates/ballet leg moves, some rond de jambe's (making the letter D on the floor, up, out and around, back to starting position) and some simple leg lifts, to the front, side and back. Doesn't sound so strenuous, huh? But the last couple of reps just felt...well, they just felt like I shouldn't have done them. Not any kind of pain in my chest or breathlessness, just a sense of overexertion.

I noticed later Saturday and Sunday that my "spot" was back. When I inhale I have this sense of cool air going over a sensitive spot about an inch to the right of center, about even with my armpit. I didn't have that "spot" in the very beginning, but started to notice it when I had my big setback back in August. I think when that happened I ruptured something in there. Nice.

Part of me is interested in knowing what, exactly, I did to myself. But it's not worth the time, aggravation, and money to find out. Whatever it was, it is healing, it's just taking it's sweet ass time. The Buteyko exercises help I think in part because it's training me to use my lungs less. Whatever the injury, reducing the load on my lungs has to help.

I just need to get back to the program. Rest. Ginger tea. Buteyko 3 times a day. Not overdoing it (hold it and take the fucking elevator next time!). Recovering from an injury takes time. I simply must be patient.

What a Beautiful Day for a Walk

It was a PERFECT Vegas fall day today. High low-mid 70's, a slight breeze and not a cloud in the sky.

We were up a little late last night chatting with the calorie-count.com crowd (hi guys!), so we didn't get a very early start on our walk. By the time we got out to our favorite park it was about noon. My lungs weren't recovered from all the talking last night, but I had a feeling that a little walk would do me good, and I was right. Mike was a little hesitant to take me walking, worried I needed to rest from last night, but I'm glad we decided to give it a try. I felt much better after our walk.

I like walking outside SO much better than cranking it out on a treadmill. The sun, the fresh air, looking at the cool red rocks in the mountains nearby, soaking in life happening around you...the exhuberance that children have when playing, watching people play with their dogs (I love other people's kids and dogs!). And Mike and I get to hold hands when we walk outside, can't do THAT in the gym!

We kept the pace nice and slow, keeping my heart rate in the mid-80's (except for one little incline which pushed it to 100) but we managed 5 laps around the park, which took about an hour and 15 minutes. Add on some stretching at the end, and it was a nice hour and a half. Even walking slow there's still a lot to think about. Especially for me since I have to pay such close attention to my breathing. Abs engaged and pulling up, breathing into the side of my lungs (pilates abs & breathing), but breathing shallowly and always through my nose (buteyko). Remembering to walk "tall", light on my feet, pushing off with my toes, lifting my foot forward with my quads (not swinging my leg into the next step) and pushing forward with the top of the hams. Lots to think about. But proper form keeps me from re-aggravating my old quad injury, helps me focus on my shallow breathing, and passes the time (since I'm no good at conversation these days!).

Food Sensitivies

Well sometimes you just can't win...

Almost two years ago my doc did a wacky food allergy test on me, muscle testing (arm goes down, it's bad, VERY scientific {cough, not}). He said no wheat or coffee, but dairy was ok (which surprised him, since most people fail the dairy arm test apparently). So I tried to give up wheat (switched to spelt for baking and things like rice pasta but giving up wheat entirely is tough!), and I gave up coffee completely (I was a 2 Starbucks Grande's a day kind of girl). I decided his arm strength test was bullshit but I was interested in the concept and decided to do a more scientific test. So I did a blood test that measures the level of anti-bodies in your blood to certain foods. http://www.optimumhealthresource.com/

Came back very different from my docs arm test (what a surprise). High on most dairy. So I got off dairy (except for butter every once in a while and mozzerella on my weekly homemade pizza). I gave up my beloved skim milk with meals, having water instead, and I switched to soymilk for those times when milk was a "necessity" like with cereal or when cooking. All the grains were in the no-reaction category. Thank god, I thought to myself, just trying to stay away from wheat on my doc's recommendation had been really, really tough. You know what's coming next, don't you?

I did another test this year. With this nasty lung condition I wanted to make sure my body wasn't spending energy dealing with food sensitivities that it should be spending on healing my lungs. This year's results? Soy (almost a max reading which is a little scary because I just don't have that much of it), Honey (again, a little scary since I hardly have any of that either), and...drumroll...Wheat (whole wheat, wheat gliadin and gluten), Spelt and Rye. Well, CRAP. No more Ezekiel bread english muffins. No substituting spelt for wheat. That means no grains. That means no pizza. Well, CRAP. No Mike's Kick Ass Multi-Grain Toast and eggs for Sunday breakfast. Well, CRAP.

Good news? If you stay away from trigger foods your body "forgets" it doesn't like them and you can re-introduce them later. They recommend complete avoidance for a few months, then once reintroduced they recommend having it only once every 4 days to avoid developing a sensitivity to it again. I know avoidance works because this year's test showed no reaction to dairy, although now I'm of the mind that cow milk should be for baby cows, not people. Not doing complete withdrawal until after Thanksgiving weekend. Should be interesting!

Good News and Not So Good News

So the good news is that I'm continuing to feel SOOOO much better thanks to the Buteyko breathing exercises.

A weight has been lifted off my chest in the last few weeks, literally and figuratively. Man, being sick is exhausting! And a definite blow to my super-woman-ego. I really thought I was invincible with all these years of healthy living under my belt.

The Not So Good News is that Reactive Airways Dysfunction Syndrome isn't an illness, it's an injury, and it's healing like one. I continue to get sucked into the "illness recovery" mentality. Oh, I'm feeling better, let's go. But life continues to remind me that no, no, no, this is an injury.

Tried to go for a walk on Saturday. Last Saturday's walk was great, but between then and now fall fell. It was only in the mid 50's and cloudy. Previously that would have been my favorite kind of day, perfect for walking. But once I stepped outside my lungs started to shut down. I thought they would relax and get into the groove once we got moving. Wrong-o! For the first time I got to experience what they talk about in my Buteyko method book, forcing yourself to breathe shallower when you want to breathe deeper, in order to stop an "attack". Try doing THAT sometime. Feeling not you're not getting enough air, and breathe less. Our walk lasted about 10 minutes. Clearly I'm not ready for cold air yet! Drat!

Good news is that by Sunday I was recovered. So my recovery time is much improved, which is great news. Since I didn't get in a walk on Saturday I walked a bit with Mike in the gym this morning. Haven't done that in forever. g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y upped the speed until I was walking at 3 mph, which had my heart rate at about 90. I used to not consider myself warmed up unless I was in the 120's...now I'm working out in the 90's...and feeling like I accomplished something! Wow, perspective is an interesting thing...

Buteyko Primer

So I've been dealing with this lung thing since July. I know what aggravates it...bad air quality, elevated heart rate, stress. But haven't found much that helps it (except rest...not to be undervalued, rest, it's been very useful). Until now.

I've discovered the Buteyko Breathing Method.

While searching for nutrition advice for asthmatics on Patrick Holford's site, I came across the book Asthma-Free Naturally by Patrick McKeown. I ordered the book through Amazon and they offered a discount if I ordered it along with Close Your Mouth: Buteyko Clinic Handbook for Perfect Health, also by Patrick McKeown, so I got both.

These two books are very similar, "Close Your Mouth" is just a more concise version of Asthma-Free, with a better quality cover. If you want to just learn the exercises, get "Close Your Mouth". If you want more information on the method, how it was developed, a fuller explanation of the exercises, get "Asthma-Free Naturally". Either book will take a while to get to you because it's not very popular (yet) here in the US (big in the UK however). Worth the wait (at least for me!).

Here's a quick synopsis...theory: asthmatics (and other people with lung issues like me) have too little carbon dioxide in their lungs. The tightness is their lungs makes them feel the need to try to breathe deeply, "overbreathing", which ironically only further depletes their CO2. The aim of the Buteyko method is to teach you to breathe less. Always, always through your nose (filters out impurities, humidifies air going in, keeps humidity from going out, limits the volume of air going in or going out). I'm not on any medication, (I don't have asthma and my condition isn't responsive to asthma meds, so I never got started down that path) but apparently if you're asthmatic and on meds, you can reduce or eliminate your medication by following the Buteyko techniques and diligently doing the exercises.

Info on the underlying theory of why the exercises work can be found here (you won't find much on the actual exercises online, practioners charge about $400 for a series of lessons, videos go for ~$100, they don't want to be giving that info away!). But here's a little more on the exercises and here too. Beware! If you have serious health problems, it clearly states in the 'Asthma-Free' NOT go just start doing these exercises!

After more than 4 months of dealing with my RADS I was able to go for a long walk yesterday, with no setback today, and have had moments the last few days where I felt NORMAL. Normal! No tightness in my chest! I've been diligent about doing the exercises at least twice a day, usually 3 times, and I will continue to be until my control pause is routinely at least 40 seconds (which seems like an eternity to me now!). I'll keep you posted.

Buteyko and Walking

For the first time since we sold our house in the 'burbs (February) Mike and I went for a long walk. It used to be a twice a week habit that we really enjoyed but we were enjoying the gym here at the condo complex and then I came down with this weird lung condition.

It was my first cardio of any sort since the end of August, my big setback. I practiced my new Buteyko breathing method the whole time (shallow, shallow, shallow), and we walked NICE and SLOW the whole hour, but I managed to be moving for a whole hour. The weather was just incredible (October in Vegas is absolutely beautiful, sun, mid 70's, slight breeze) and it was great to get outside. Been cooped up in this apartment too damn long! After our walk we had a nice drive around town, talking (a stressor for me), even touring a couple of new home models with plenty of stairs.

I've been religiously practicing my Buteyko breathing method and have almost doubled my controlled pause (how long you can comfortably hold your breath after exhaling). Even better though, I got through yesterday without a setback! An hour of walking, an hour of walking through houses, talking the whole time, and I feel ok today. NO setback!! Yeah!!! We're going to try to add a Saturday walk to the weekly routine. I finally feel like I'm really on the road to recovery...finally...and it seems to be thanks to the Buteyko exercises!

p.s. Go Bears!

Intruiging...

Been trying to take it easy this past week. Cancelled Pilates last Thursday and yesterday. Cancelled my pampering day last Friday of facial and manicure/pedicure because talking is such a struggle and my girls and I love to chat. Couldn't see going and not talking, that's half the fun!

Despite resting for the past week I must say I don't feel that much better. I'm trying hard not to get depressed about my little setback, keep my head in a good place so I don't stress out and make myself feel even worse. I've definitely learned that stressing about it makes it worse. So trying to RELAX. Going to my private pilates lesson today, so hopefully that'll stimulate some healing. So that's the current state of affairs.

Here's what's got me intrigued...a new book I ordered called "Asthma-Free Naturally" by Patrick McKeown, on the Buteyko Breathing Method. The theory of the book is that asthma is caused by inadequate levels of carbon dioxide. I've been having trouble talking for the last couple of months and it clearly explained why talking is an stressor, it depletes your carbon dioxide! A light bulb moment. You'd think that an asthma breathing method would involve DEEPER breathing, wouldn't you? Wrong! The Buteyko method is to train yourself to breath LESS. Less breathing increases your levels of carbon dioxide. The more carbon dioxide you have in your body the longer you can hold your breath. According to the book, after exhaling easily (don't expel all the air in your lungs, just naturally breath out) you should be able to hold your breath for 40 seconds (if you're healthy and asthma free). Mind you, that's not 40 seconds and then gasping for air, that's 40 seconds until your first "hunger for air". After that 40 seconds you aren't gasping for air, but only need a breath like the one you took before you held your breath. I can go 15. After doing the breathing exercises in the book I can go 20. The book makes a pretty compelling case I must say.

I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I'm going to do the exercises as prescribed...20-30 minutes 3 times a day. I'm keeping track of my controlled pause (how long you can comfortably hold your breath) in a spreadsheet, so I'll be tracking my progress. Should be interesting!

Mental Control

So a week ago or so I ventured out into my old life. A night on the town with friends. Dinner, a little conversation, and a show. Didn't seem very stressful at the time, but the week before had been pretty full, 3 pilates sessions, some grocery shopping involving heavy lifting, and the night out was the icing on the stressful cake. The next day it was quite clear I'd done too much too soon.

How depressing. And the more depressed I got about my backslide, the worse I felt. By last Wednesday I was back doing nothing but sinking into the couch. Trying not to talk. Not making dinner. Not lifting anything.

Friday I snapped. Or rather my husband snapped and he finally got through to me. Physically I'm going to feel however I'm feeling. But I don't need to make it worse by stressing out. And to be sure, stress makes me feel worse. When I drink wine I'm able to talk better, my chest loosens up. The alcohol isn't doing anything but relaxing me.

So I've been trying to pay attention. When I feel my chest tighten up I take a deep breath and concentrate on letting the tension go. Ahhhh. When I feel my throat start to close from talking too much, I engage my brain and tell myself there is NO reason why it should be that stressful, another deep breath, and my talking is easier, my chest hurts less.

Reactive Airway Dysfunction Syndrome is just that, a dysfunction. The initial irritant to my respiratory system, the forest fire smoke, hasn't been here since July. But my system is stuck in hyper-reactive mode, that's the dysfunction. I need to get my head in the game and realize that while I need to respect the physical limitations imposed by the condition, I can mitigate it with my brain. I can relax. I can impose my will...a little. It's not all in my head, there's definitely a physical reality that needs to be respected, I can't just do what I want, but I don't need to make it WORSE by stressing out over it.

Slowin' It Down

Overdid it a bit last week. Did Pilates 3 times last week, one reformer class, one private where we worked on the reformer and the chair (which is great, but hard!), and one mat class. Only made one grocery run, but it had lots of heavy stuff, a case of water and a case of synergy (flavored kombucha tea). I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I was feeling worse by Friday than I did on Monday.

My husband's oldest friend was in town this weekend. We took him and his wife to dinner and they took us to see "Love" the new Cirque du Soleil/Beatles show at the Mirage. I talked too much during dinner, which is one of my triggers for my lung condition, mostly about why I couldn't talk too much. I was trying not to, but seriously, how do you get through a whole dinner not talking? The show was magical. Both Mike and I loved it (and he's a pretty tough audience!) and while neither of us were big Beatles fans walking in, we were much bigger Beatles fans walking out. The show wasn't a typical Cirque show, less acrobatics, more dancing, but it was very creative, just plain fun and the sound was absolutely incredible. The music is really the Beatles singing, from original Abbey Road tapes, so you get the real deal, and the theatre has speakers in every seat, so you're surrounded by music. I've had Beatles music running through my head for days now.

Felt GREAT to get out. We haven't been out in 2 months. So it was great fun to get all dolled up, be out on the town with Mike. But I paid the price on Saturday. Chest tightness? back. I canNOT afford a setback, so I rested all weekend. Mike made dinner and waited on me all weekend. Cancelled on my pilates teacher's baby shower on Sunday, cancelled my pilates class today. Resting, resting, resting. I am feeling much better today, my recovery rate is definitely improving. Still...was great to get out!