If you have any interest in how your body generally operates, pick up a copy of "You, The Owner's Manual". Comprehensive and fun to read. Got mine yesterday for 30% off at Borders. The big moment for me was on page one of the chapter on Lungs (emphasis is mine):
"In fact, when it comes to your airways, the small things post the greatest threat...When you take bacteria, viruses, and other particles into your lungs, your system is able to stop the larger particles, because they get trapped by the lung's natural defenses. They beat the particles out of your windpipes with little brushes called cilia and force them out of your body through coughing, sneezing, and blowing your nose. But even smaller particles - particles we can't actually see - can slip through the defense system much like a great running back breaks tackles. Undetected, these particles actually cause an inflammatory reaction that destroys part of your lung tissue - and puts you at greater risk for various lung disorders."
No shit. That seems a very simple explanation of exactly what happened to me and, from some of the forums I read, in various forms to lots of other people too. The difference for me is that when I read those forums everyone is on some medication or another (or more commonly on 3 or 4). Steroids. Bronchodialotors. And they're not getting better. I, on the other hand, am only on good nutrition, supplements, Buteyko exercises and regular doses of Pilates and seem to be making all kinds of progress. Admittedly, it feels achingly slow at times, but when I read forum posts from people suffering similar symptoms, but going months with no improvement, I suddenly don't feel so bad. Looking back, I've made quite a bit of progress. Spent the weekend talking to my son. Yes, I could tell it was taxing, but 2 months ago I couldn't have spent an hour talking to him, much less 3 days. I'm not saying that my course is right for everybody, I'm sure there are people who are helped by the meds, but I'm saying if results are the measure, my way seems a valid alternative more people should at least consider.
We'll see how much progress I can make in the next 6 weeks. I'm going to be taking a comprehensive pilates certification course which will require me to be working out as much as I'm able. Incentive!!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The ups and the downs
I've never had to deal with an ongoing injury like this lung thing. Messes with your head.
I gradually get better, start to think I'm heading out of the woods (for good this time, right?), then I overdo it and I have a little relapse. That's when it's so easy to get scared. What the fuck IS this exactly? Why do I feel better when I'm working out but sometimes the chest tightness happens several hours later? If a killer Pilates class is bad for me, wouldn't it feel bad when I'm doing it, instead of 5 hours later? And why does one Pilates class make me feel so much better (like last Thursday's mat class) and another wipe me out and get me back to feeling like someone is sitting on my chest (like last Tuesday's reformer class)? I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor on Tuesday. Is it as simple as I just did too much even though it didn't feel like it at the time?
Fuck, this is exhausting...mentally I mean. I'm so sick of being sick. And sick of being scared. Easy to think I'm taking the right course when I'm getting better. But when I have these relapses I start to wonder if there's something I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing, or something I should be doing that I'm not doing, all out of sheer ignorance. Yes. I could go see a doctor again. I think about that occasionally. But a "regular" doctor is just someone I'm going to frustrate and there's not a naturopath in the area. I won't take steroids. I won't take drugs. I won't let them do a stress test on my lungs (after all this work to keep my activity level down I'm going to jump on a treadmill so they can prove to themselves that yes, exercise shuts my lungs down? duh). I won't let them do a lung biopsy (yeah, that'll help me heal faster, cut some of it out). I'm willing to do anything non-invasive...MRI, ultrasound, etc., but those are fucking expensive tests. And once I had a definitive diagnosis (which isn't guaranteed by any means) what would it change? That would just put me back having the argument about taking drugs.
Looking back I can see that I'm getting better. Most of the time I can talk as much as I want. That was not always the case. I can go to the grocery store and Pilates classes and out to dinner. That was not always the case. So even though it's incredibly frustrating to have these little setbacks, I'm bouncing back much, much faster and my setbacks are now better than where i used to be all the time. Must keep my perspective. So I'll keep workin' the program and trying to avoid setbacks. Eat right. Pilates (but not too strenuous). Clean, humidied air. Buteyko exercises. Manage my schedule so I'm not doing too much on any particular day.
Gotta just keep my head down and work the fucking program.
I gradually get better, start to think I'm heading out of the woods (for good this time, right?), then I overdo it and I have a little relapse. That's when it's so easy to get scared. What the fuck IS this exactly? Why do I feel better when I'm working out but sometimes the chest tightness happens several hours later? If a killer Pilates class is bad for me, wouldn't it feel bad when I'm doing it, instead of 5 hours later? And why does one Pilates class make me feel so much better (like last Thursday's mat class) and another wipe me out and get me back to feeling like someone is sitting on my chest (like last Tuesday's reformer class)? I forgot to wear my heart rate monitor on Tuesday. Is it as simple as I just did too much even though it didn't feel like it at the time?
Fuck, this is exhausting...mentally I mean. I'm so sick of being sick. And sick of being scared. Easy to think I'm taking the right course when I'm getting better. But when I have these relapses I start to wonder if there's something I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing, or something I should be doing that I'm not doing, all out of sheer ignorance. Yes. I could go see a doctor again. I think about that occasionally. But a "regular" doctor is just someone I'm going to frustrate and there's not a naturopath in the area. I won't take steroids. I won't take drugs. I won't let them do a stress test on my lungs (after all this work to keep my activity level down I'm going to jump on a treadmill so they can prove to themselves that yes, exercise shuts my lungs down? duh). I won't let them do a lung biopsy (yeah, that'll help me heal faster, cut some of it out). I'm willing to do anything non-invasive...MRI, ultrasound, etc., but those are fucking expensive tests. And once I had a definitive diagnosis (which isn't guaranteed by any means) what would it change? That would just put me back having the argument about taking drugs.
Looking back I can see that I'm getting better. Most of the time I can talk as much as I want. That was not always the case. I can go to the grocery store and Pilates classes and out to dinner. That was not always the case. So even though it's incredibly frustrating to have these little setbacks, I'm bouncing back much, much faster and my setbacks are now better than where i used to be all the time. Must keep my perspective. So I'll keep workin' the program and trying to avoid setbacks. Eat right. Pilates (but not too strenuous). Clean, humidied air. Buteyko exercises. Manage my schedule so I'm not doing too much on any particular day.
Gotta just keep my head down and work the fucking program.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Vacation and Pilates
Didn't know if I'd survive more than 4 days out in the real world, but I managed just fine, thank you very much. Admittedly after eating too much, drinking great wine every night, staying up too late, and breathing non-humidified air, I was ready to get back to my healthy diet and my purified, humidifed air. But I really thought I'd pay a big price for all that partying. I was going downhill there for a few days right after we got home, but went to a Pilates mat class and it perked me right up. Thanks to Pilates I've bounced back nicely. What a relief.
Speaking of which, decided on my birthday trip that I'm going to get certified to teach Pilates. It's become an important part of my life. These past 6 months or so it has saved me. I want to know more. I want to know everything. And if I can help someone else discover the wonders of Pilates, even better.
Speaking of which, decided on my birthday trip that I'm going to get certified to teach Pilates. It's become an important part of my life. These past 6 months or so it has saved me. I want to know more. I want to know everything. And if I can help someone else discover the wonders of Pilates, even better.